


Willow in Conversation

by zoroaria



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Aromantic, Background Lumity as usual, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Queer Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26777026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoroaria/pseuds/zoroaria
Summary: Willow loves her friends dearly, and they've helped her through a lot. When she's faced with the issue of forgiving those who've hurt her, as well as the uncertainty of romantic feelings, it is her conversations with dear friends, old and new, that will guide her in the process of understanding herself and those around her.
Relationships: Amity Blight & Willow Park, Boscha & Willow Park, Luz Noceda & Willow Park & Gus Porter
Comments: 39
Kudos: 128





	1. Old Friend.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and thanks for taking the time to check this out! This is my second fic, and I wanted to take a shot at writing about romantic feelings from a different perspective, as well as the importance of platonic bonds! I also wanted to take a more dialogue-heavy approach since I realized I'm very bad at writing dialogue, so hopefully that improves over this fic lol.  
> I really grew to love and appreciate every character here a lot more than I had before writing this so I hope I can give anyone reading a little feel of that for themselves! Anyway, hope y'all enjoy this!

The light of the setting sun combined with the emptiness of its halls gave Hexide a gloomy atmosphere in the late afternoon, a sight Willow was used to by now. The plant track would usually have longer classes than the other tracks; the teachers were constantly talking about how niche and competitive plant magic was as a profession, and how much the students needed to excel to be able to make a living off their magic. 

Luz and Gus usually stayed in school to wait for her, meaning she had company as soon as she finished her exhausting extra classes, but today she’d told them she had other plans.

This meant that, as she walked the halls and felt the chill of the winter air on her skin, Willow felt the solitude of the school as her own. She may not have been the most popular witch, but she still felt the most at ease surrounded by people. Walking the halls alone, she felt unprotected and on edge, her exhaustion from class being intensified by the consumption that followed her when she was alone with her thoughts.

She was initially relieved to see another student walking the halls, but the purple hair she recognized made her freeze on the spot. 

It had been months since Boscha had been an active bully with her, but Willow still felt an instinctive fear whenever they saw each other. She’d gotten so used to the pain she felt when Boscha harassed her that her subconscious was still not used to her more polite and apologetic way of behaving lately.

When they passed each other, Boscha was the one who tried to start a conversation, while Willow was trying to somehow hide herself in the empty hall with bare decorations.

“Oh, hi, Willow! Good morning!” The purple-haired girl said, before slamming her palm on her own face so forcefully it turned pink. Or did the pink shade come before that?

“Hey, Boscha. See you, Boscha.” Willow responded more quickly than she’d intended while she picked up her pace. Whatever the case was, she was not good at dealing with Boscha on her own, and she especially didn’t have the energy for it now.

“Wait, Willow!”

Willow turned back around slowly, her self-preservation instincts and polite attitude clashing against each other.

“I just wanted to know if… We could, maybe, hang out sometime?” Boscha said with clear hesitation.

Willow didn’t quite process what was said. Boscha had already been trying to be more friendly with her for a while, but she was still unused to her change in demeanor, and the sudden invitation didn’t entirely register for her. She just knew she wanted to be out of this situation.

“Sorry Boscha, I’ve got plans today already, maybe some other time. See you.”

Boscha was left standing in the hallway, her eyes wide in surprise, Willow having fled before she could notice. “...Was that a yes?” She muttered, to no one in particular. 

…

Willow had made plans with a friend she hadn’t been alone with in a very long time. They met up outside of school and quietly walked together to Willow’s house, quickly going inside to her room.

Her bedroom was sparsely decorated, with a couple bookshelves, a desk and a bed for furniture. The windowsill had room for a few small potted plants she took care of, which gave the room a touch of color and a soft, earthy smell that made her feel at peace. The sunset’s color combined with the room’s light to give it a subtle pinkish glow, a familiar scene that brought her comfort.

The sight of Amity in her room after so long, now with her dyed green hair almost erasing her natural brown, brought Willow a lot of conflicting emotions. She looked away as they began to talk, sitting next to each other on the bed.

“So how was your day, Amity? We barely get to see each other since we don’t share any classes now, huh.”

“Yeah, it was… fine.” She trailed off, looking around at the room that had been so familiar to her growing up, taking in how much it had changed since they had ended their friendship.

Amity looked like she was trying to gather courage, and Willow waited patiently to see what she wanted to say.

“Thanks for inviting me here after so long, Willow. I know it must be hard for you, after what I did… And I know things can’t just go back to normal as if nothing happened. I really appreciate you giving me a second chance, I mean it.”

Hearing her friend being emotionally honest was rare, and Willow couldn’t help the small smile that lit up her face.

“Of course, Amity. Our friendship meant a lot to me. 

“That means it hurt more than I can describe when you broke it off, and even more so when you joined in on the…”  _ Harassment? Bullying?  _ Willow didn’t know if she even wanted to put it into words.

“Anyway, it also means that I always wished we could go back to how it was. We can’t exactly, but… if you can put in the effort, I want to try.”

Amity gave her an honest smile and sighed with relief. “Yeah. I’m glad we talked about it.”

“Yeah. So, Amity, now that that’s out of the way…” Willow suddenly got a scary glint on her eye as she grinned, causing Amity to audibly swallow. “What’s up with you and Luz?”

Amity’s blush wrapped around all the way to her ears. “WHA- Wh- What do you mean?!? There’s nothing up  _ or _ down with me and Luz.” Her voice trailed off and steadily decreased in volume, making the last word a barely audible whimper.

Willow rolled her eyes and pushed on. “Oh please, remember when you asked us for help when she was going up against Boscha and her team on her own?” She flinched a little saying Boscha’s name, but tried not to dwell on it. “You’ve never praised anyone so much, or been so embarrassed, it was _ so _ obvious. You have a crush!” 

Seeing Willow’s expression suddenly change from a teasing grin to an excited, expectant look and a beaming smile knocked the wind out of Amity and left her giggling uncontrollably.

“What’s so funny?”

“Ha ha ha ha, sorry, Willow it’s just- You looked so happy, I didn’t know you were so into romance like that.”

Willow put a hand on her chin thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t say I’m into it. I’m just curious! Two of my friends might  _ like _ each other, that’s never happened before! It seems fun!”

A fond smile appeared on Amity’s face when she heard Willow call her her friend. Simultaneously, she blushed at the implication Luz might like her back.

“What about  _ you _ then? It’s not fair for you to know more about my love life than I do yours!”

Willow almost jumped in surprise, not having expected the interrogation to be turned against her. “Um, me? I don’t really have anything like that.”

“You’ve never had a crush? Or have someone crush on you?”

“I don’t think so? I mean, I don’t know, it’s hard to tell, I guess.”

Amity eyed her friend with a curious look and made a noise that Willow couldn’t quite place as either agreement or suspicion. “I guess that’s fair. It took me some time to realize I was crushing on Luz, too.”

“So you admit it!” Willow flashed Amity a wicked grin. She could be scary when she wanted to.

“Wait, no I- ughhhhh” Amity hid her blushing face with her hands and groaned, causing Willow to giggle in triumph.

“So what do you like about her?” She asked when Amity was just beginning to let her guard back down.

“You mean Luz? I mean… she’s so pretty, and nice, and the way she gets so enthusiastic about magic is adorable, and-” She stopped herself from rambling with a shake of her head, and continued in a quiet voice with a shy smile. 

“Well, most of all, she tried to befriend me despite how  _ awful _ I was. And she helped me be a better person just by being herself.”

“Awwwwww, Amity, that’s adorable!” Willow was beaming, her eyes practically glowing with glee.

“Adorable!? Ha, hm, erm, thanks.” 

Willow was about to launch into more questions, ready to grill Amity about this crush she found both adorable and hilarious. Before she could, however, Amity turned things around again with a question she had not been ready for.

“Hey, by the way, Willow… What’s going on with Boscha?”

The mention of Boscha made Willow’s teasing smile freeze. There was a lot on her mind regarding that girl, and some of it was related to the friend sitting next to her. She still didn’t feel entirely comfortable with Amity again, but she knew talking about it with a friend would help. She answered with hesitation slightly muffling her voice.

“I don’t know. Ever since we beat her in that grudgby match, she’s been a lot less aggressive. And lately, it’s like she’s trying to be friendly with us, with me, but…”

Amity cut in after a few seconds, after realizing she had become too immersed in her thoughts to finish her sentence.

“You’re not sure about forgiving her, right?”

“...Yeah. It’s just-! You’re one thing, but she was  _ never _ nice to me. Not even once. Not until now, and suddenly she gets to apologize once and I have to accept that?” Unexpected tears had started to fill up Willow’s eyes, clouding her vision, and she could feel them rolling down her cheeks now. “It’s not fair… Why do I deserve that?”

She could barely make out a confused Amity through her vision clouded with tears. Her friend seemed paralyzed with uncertainty for a second, but she shook her head and quickly stood up, her hands curled into fists helplessly at her side. 

“Of course you don’t deserve it! You’re a great person, Willow, and a great friend. So much better than Boscha, than me. You don’t deserve  _ any _ of what we put you through.

“It’s not wrong for you to feel bad about it, and if you decided you wouldn’t want to talk to her, or to me, that’d be perfectly reasonable. A-and you have friends who know all this, who like you, and will treat you like you deserve! So… Um, please don’t cry?”

Willow giggled softly, surprising Amity, who was still standing holding a stiff pose. She rubbed her eyes and sniffled a little, the flow of tears having been interrupted. “Thanks, Amity. You’re really not used to this, huh?” She added with a small smile, with no sign of mockery in her tone.

“Hah, yeah, I’m not. Luz would be so much better at this, I’m sure.”

“Maybe, but I’m glad you were here, Amity.” 

The smile Willow gave Amity warmed her heart, and made her feel like all the awkwardness and difficulties in their road to becoming friends again had been more than worth it. She sat down again, this time closer to her friend, and smiled at her in return.

“Also, next time, you can hug me if you’re ok with that. I like hugs.” 

“Oh, yeah. I’ll remember that- I just wasn’t sure that, you know, you would be ok with it. From me.”

Willow moved to close the gap between them further, sitting next to her with their shoulders touching. “Yeah. I would be.” They fell into a comfortable silence, perhaps the first they’d shared since they were children. A couple of minutes later, it was Willow who broke the silence with a quiet question.

“Do you think she can really be better? I mean… Like you’re trying to?”

“You mean Boscha? I… I’m not sure.” Amity stared into space for a minute, collecting her thoughts.

“I mean, I’ve known her for as long as I’ve known you, but she’s always been like that. I’m sure she has her own problems like I did, and I never- Well, I wouldn’t have stopped being such a jerk if I hadn’t met you, and Luz.”

Willow chuckled quietly at the mention of Luz.  _ What a lovebird _ . “Well, she knows us too. And I guess she  _ did _ start to mellow out after the match.”

“Do you want her to be better? So you can be friends?”

“I don’t know. I think I just don’t want to feel so bad whenever I see her.”

“Yeah. That makes sense.” Amity laid her hand on Willow’s shoulder in an attempt at comfort that she appreciated. After a pause, she came up with a suggestion. “Maybe you should talk to the rest of the Banshees?”

“Her team? I guess they seem nice, so I’m not opposed, but why bring that up now?”

“I just thought that, maybe if you get to know them, and they get to know you, you could all be a little more comfortable with each other.

“A-and that doesn’t have to mean you forgive everything! But maybe it will help you not feel as bad around her.”

Willow gave it some thought. It seemed like an idea with some merit, but more importantly, it was clear Amity was trying her best to help her. And that made her feel truly happy. Sometimes she felt a little scared at how important their friendship had remained for her after everything that happened. But she couldn’t deny that Amity had a very special place in her heart, and she wanted to count her as one of her closest friends again. 

She nodded. “I could try that. It would be nice to be more friendly with them, I think.”

“Yeah. They were always easier to talk to than Boscha, at least…” Amity trailed off, eyeing a book she hadn’t noticed on Willow’s bed. “Wait, is that-” Her eyes lit up, an uneven grin showing on her face. “Is that Azura?!”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, Luz lent me that book. She’s kinda obsessed with it.” Willow couldn’t help the giggle that came up alongside that remark. “Wait, do you read them too? I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing.”

“Yeah! Did you read this one yet? I  _ love _ the part where the perspective changes to Hecate for a chapter, it adds so much to her character!”

It took a few seconds for Willow to get past her initial surprise. How long had it been since she’d seen Amity so enthusiastic and bright-eyed? It really  _ did _ feel like Luz’s personality had started to rub off on her. 

A fond smile made its way to her lips as they continued to talk to each other, at first about Azura, and later about anything and everything that crossed their minds. Talking like this, in her room after school, had felt as natural as breathing to her when they were younger. So much had happened in between then and now, but in those moments she felt like things had gone back to the way they were supposed to be. 

They stayed together like that for hours, much longer than they’d planned to. For that time, they were kids again, laughing and crying together about anything they could think of. Willow’s room felt brighter to them than the rest of the world, and they could feel the fondness they shared for each other coloring their senses once again, back from deep inside their hearts where it had slept for all those years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the first chapter! I'd love to hear ppl's thoughts on it, it helps my motivation a lot! hehe  
> Also, next chapter or 2 are kinda mostly done so it may not be long till they're up, I was very not sure how to split things up once I looked back on what I wrote so I think they're gonna be p short chapters with one big conversation each lol.


	2. New Friends.

The hideout the Banshees guided Willow to after school was a small wooden shack on a high cliff. The walls were full of band posters and shelves filled with messily arranged trinkets; the wide array of colors on display had almost no cohesion, but under the soft light of the sunset it had the feeling of being lived in, a place with a personality of its own.

The shack’s chaotic aesthetic held the result of the clashing interests of the four friends. Skara’s love for music was obviously present in the posters and a couple stringed instruments that lay carelessly next to a magic amp designed like a beast’s maw. Amelia had clearly been the one to place the two plants that flanked the hideout’s entrance, one of which would occasionally make a fart noise, which never failed to make her laugh. A corner of the room was infinitely cleaner and tidier than the rest, and it held a shelf with neatly lined up books -mostly mystery novels- organized by author, with a small empty corner where Cat usually left her glasses. The rest of the shelves were littered with potions and small, cheap trinkets that appeared cursed, surely all Boscha’s belongings.

As soon as they entered the shack, the three Banshees were very clearly at home. Skara immediately made their way to a small set of speakers on the back wall of the shack and turned them on, scrolling through their phone for a playlist to play. They let their hair down, uncovering a few streaks of deep dark red that were hidden among the long gray hair they usually kept in a ponytail.

Amelia stayed near the entrance, talking with her plants in a whisper while she watered them. Her green uniform and short hair matched with the greenery, and she blended in perfectly with the hideout.

Cat made her way over to her orderly corner, taking off her glasses. Her deep hazel eyes shined brightly without the heavy glass around them, and they mixed with her wavy brown hair perfectly to give her a more mature and confident air than the other teenagers present. She moved towards a tea kettle near her corner and began to fill it with water, turning to the three in the room.

“It’s getting cold so I’m gonna make tea, does that sound good?” She asked them. Amelia grunted in agreement, and Willow simply nodded with a hesitant smile.

“Ooh, you’re gonna love the tea Cat makes, Willow! She’s really good at that, it’s like her special brand of magic!” Skara commented absentmindedly.

“Please don’t compare it to something as important as magic, you just don’t wanna learn how to do it so you act like it’s something special.”

“So why did you want to hang out all of a sudden, Willow? We’ve been on the plant track together for a while, but we never really talked much.” Amelia asked as she sat down on the bean bag near the center of the room and checked her scroll phone.

“Oh, well, I thought it’d be nice to get to know you all a little better! I know we kinda started off on the wrong foot for a while, but y’all seem cool! Even Boscha has been a lot nicer lately…”

Cat cut into their conversation while she prepared tea. “Yeah, she’s cut down on bothering other people a lot. Keep this between us, but it was getting pretty annoying to go along with her on that. I’m glad that crush seems to be mellowing her out.”

“Oh! She’s got a crush?”

The three friends froze for a second, and Cat hastily replied shaking her hands so much she almost hit the kettle. “Oh, you didn’t know? I mean, huh, of course not, we just noticed because we’re close to her, that’s all! Nothing to worry about though, what’s a crush anyway?” She looked away to hide her face.

Skara finished choosing a song and let it play a little too loudly at first, drawing Willow’s attention. It was a smooth, bass-heavy genre she’d never heard before. They sat down next to Amelia and glanced at her phone with an easy smile on their face. “Anyway, we’re glad you wanted to hang out, Willow! This is one of our cleanest hideouts, so you can sit down anywhere and chill!”

Willow followed their advice and sat opposite them, fiddling with her shirt’s sleeves. “Thank you. This place is nice.”

“Yeah! By the way, our offer to have you join the grudgby team still stands! We all know you’d do great at it.” Seeing them here, Willow thought Skara’s smile was bright enough to make her forgive any mean thing they’d ever done.

“Aww, I’m not so sure about that. I got lucky! And I had the ex-captain of the team on my side.”

“Nah, you’ve got some moves, Willow. Your plant magic inspired a few tricks I’ve been trying out, too. If you ever want a rematch, it will be even fiercer competition. You better be ready.” Amelia added with a grin that went from ear to ear.

“From me too! Musical magic won’t really help much with sports, but I’ve been working out, and you’d be surprised how much stronger your arms get from drumming!”

“Oh, I didn’t know you played drums too, Skara, that’s really cool!”

Cat cut in with a giggle while she passed a teacup to everyone. “Skara plays a little of _everything_. They can’t stay still for too long, so they’re always trying something new.” 

Willow was glad to have confirmation of Skara’s pronouns before having to use them. She’d heard them once before, but wanted to be sure.

“They’re really good though! I think everything Skara plays sounds great.” Added Amelia with a wide, sincere smile. Skara blushed at the comment and scratched their nose in embarrassment.

“I just love all of them! There’s something really cool about every instrument, it’s not like I could ever just choose one. Though it’s also true I can’t stick with one for very long before I want to switch.”

Willow couldn’t contain a giggle at the familiar sight. “I think you and Luz would get along _great_ . She had such a hard time choosing a track for school, she _made_ Principal Bump change the rules so she could be in all of them!”

“I think that’s a great change, actually.” Cat said in between sips. “I like healing, so I don’t want to switch tracks like you did, but I’ve been thinking mixing that with potions could be really beneficial.”

“You should, Cat. Your parents are way more chill than Boscha’s, I’m sure they’re gonna say it’s cool.” Amelia was now fully sinking into the bean bag, and once Skara wasn’t able to peek at her endlessly scrolling phone screen, they quickly finished their tea in one gulp and stood up.

Willow seemed to be the only one surprised by the sudden movement. They headed to where one of their instruments was, a bass with a simple triangular design, and started fiddling with it. The bass was completely covered in stickers, and Willow noticed a big rectangular sticker with yellow, white, purple and black stripes that seemed to have been added recently.

It took a second for Willow to register what had been said, as she’d been distracted by Skara. “Wait, what do you mean Boscha’s parents? They wouldn’t let her change tracks?”

Cat seemed startled for the second time today when talking about Boscha. “Oh, right, yeah. She wanted to start doing both potions and plants a couple of weeks ago, but her parents got really angry at her. I remember it was already hard for her to enroll in the potions track in the first place.” 

“Yeah, I remember the day after she’d asked them permission to double dip she came back with her eyes all red from crying. I guess her parents got _real_ harsh. Or maybe she was just that sad she couldn’t be with her crush.” Amelia shrugged, and got a suspicious elbow to her side from Cat.

Skara had finished setting things up, and they were now playing while connected with the amp, at a low enough volume to let the others talk. Cat and Amelia started gently swaying along with the rhythm, and Willow turned to watch as they played. Skara often seemed to be the loudest of the three, a little like Luz, always active in conversation or bouncing between activities. But seeing them while they were playing, they were almost like a different person.

Looking down at the bass in their hands with narrowed eyes, Skara exuded an air of calmness she had never seen before. After a few minutes, they seemed to have found a good rhythm, and Willow noticed a smile that was very different from the one they’d shown before. This wasn’t just an amused smile at having fun with their friends, it was a determined expression that put the fulfillment they felt while playing on full display.

“Surprised?” Cat asked Willow with a small grin. “Skara’s attention is usually really scattered, yeah, but when they start playing they get into it in a way they don’t with anything else. It’s why they’re so suited to the bard track, I guess.” Though her comment could have been interpreted as mean-spirited coming from anyone else, Willow could clearly feel the fondness behind it.

“And don’t let her attitude fool you, Cat can be the most kind and caring person you’ll ever meet. She’s also perfect for her track.” Amelia added.

Willow chuckled lightly. “You three are really close, huh. Have you been friends since you were kids?” She wondered if her and Amity would be like this, if they’d stayed friends for all this time.

“I met Amelia when we were both eight years old, when my parents moved next to her. I wasn’t very social then, but she was such an extrovert she made up for both of us and more. She was already friends with Boscha and Skara at the time, so by association we became friends as well.”

“You should have seen Cat, she was all quiet and reserved. We never expected she’d grow up to talk back to us as much as she does now.” Amelia added with a snicker.

“Well, you three make it surprisingly easy. It’s hard to stay quiet when you get dragged into the kinds of regular mischief you all love. Especially when you end up getting hurt most of the time and _I_ have to be the one using magic to heal you. Why do you think I ended up in the healing track in the first place?”

Willow thought she’d never heard Cat talk so much in any class they’d shared, maybe not even in all of them combined. The difference between her reserved behavior and this aspect of her made it easy to picture the transformation Amelia had mentioned.

“See, exactly like I said. Perfect for the healing track! You should have seen the way she acted with Boscha at first, though, Willow. You’d think they were destined to be bitter rivals or something, with how much they clashed. I think that’s what opened her up to be this feisty.”

An unexpected voice joined in from the direction the relaxing music had been steadily coming. “Only with Boscha? I thought she hated me too, when we were little. She was always glaring at me, without saying a word.”

“...No comment.” Cat responded, gracefully sipping her tea to hide a mischievous smile.

Willow, Skara and Amelia all burst into laughter simultaneously, completely disrupting the mellow atmosphere the quiet bass music had created.

...

As the afternoon quickly turned into evening, Willow found herself enjoying her time with the Banshees a lot more than she’d ever imagined she would. Now that they were spending time together, she got to see the side of them that they must see all the time, the friendly and pleasant environment they can create with each other and for other people. 

They spent a couple of hours in that hideout together, mindlessly chatting or simply coexisting, each doing what they felt like doing. All the apprehension Willow had felt about doing this had vanished, and she felt it wasn’t much different to being with Luz and Gus. Or Amity.

When the afternoon turned into a chilly winter evening and it was almost time for them to leave, she decided to voice some of her innermost thoughts. She felt a little shakiness in her voice, but she was getting used to pushing through that to let her emotions out.

“Hey, I just want to say, I’m glad I came here. You know, I really didn’t… For a while, I was still scared of you three. Boscha especially, but you were still there when everything was happening, and I tried to act brave but it was scary, and without my friends I couldn’t have gotten through our match, and- What I mean is…

“It’s gonna be hard for me to be friends with all of you for a while, but I can see now that you’re fun, and you can be nice, and I really want to try. And the same goes for Boscha.”

Cat’s expression was hard to read, but she looked like she was having a hard time deciding what to say, at times looking defensive and at times apologetic. Before she could say anything, Skara cut in with a loud exclamation. 

“Thank you, Willow! We’re sorry for everything and we would love to be friends!”

They rushed into Willow to give her a tight hug, and Amelia and Cat chuckled softly, tension visibly releasing from their shoulders as they echoed the statement and went over to join the hug.

“We’re going to be a lot better, Willow.” Cat said, ruffling her hair without thinking.

“Yeah, and you _bet_ Boscha will too.” Amelia added with a wink and a giggle. This resulted in an audible slap to the back of her head by Cat, which only spurred Amelia’s laughter on.

Willow was starting to get some idea of what they’d been alluding to, but she decided it would be better to talk to Boscha herself. This reminded her of something she’d been meaning to do.

“Oh yeah, by the way, do you three think you could give me Boscha’s number so I can talk to her about something?”

Willow had to work hard to contain her laughter at the truly amazing face Amelia responded with, complete incredulity and utter joy mixed into a wide, uneven amused grin.

…

A book about potions lay open on Boscha’s desk, abandoned after thirty minutes of failed attempts at studying. She couldn’t even focus on her phone, so she simply sat with her head laying on the desk, her phone and the textbook next to it. The book was open on a page titled “Love Potions - Do’s and Don’ts.” which had been scribbled on every available margin, including a message to herself that read “Boscha, you can’t do this, you have to stop”.

She was almost asleep when a notification from her phone shook the desk with such force she almost screamed in shock. She turned the screen on and her eyes went wide at the notification she saw, a message she had to read at least five times to ensure it was real.

It was a message from a number that wasn’t on her contacts list, and it read “Hi Boscha, it’s Willow. I think it’d be nice to hang out tomorrow after school.”

She set the phone down and looked up at the ceiling, her mind completely blank. A minute later, she realized what had just happened, and she was flooded by a barrage of thoughts she couldn’t control. She started frantically typing a response, then deleting it because it didn’t feel right, over and over until thirty minutes had passed since she’d received the message.

Having given up on studying, she went to bed early, though she ended up unable to sleep for a long time. She kept turning in her bed, and couldn’t stop thinking about Willow and the message.

“k.”

 _That was the best I could come up with? Really?! I spent thirty minutes just to write_ “k.” _? What kinda loser am I?_

_Great, now I won’t get any sleep and Willow’s gonna see me look like trash tomorrow. Thanks a lot, brain._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these three so much!!! I literally went from knowing next to nothing about them when I finished the first chapter to absolutely loving them as of writing this one. I have a bunch of notes on them and their group dynamics and things they're into and other headcanons fjdsklfjsdlj If people come out of this liking them a little more then my life has been worth it.  
> Anyway, if you think this chapter was fun then get ready for next one cause it's gonna get... let's say heavy. Hehehe >:p
> 
> Thanks for reading and comments give me life so please leave one if you have any thoughts on this! Hope y'all are enjoying this very loosely structured conversational story so far x3


	3. A Possibility.

“Willow! How did it go yesterday?” 

Luz, enthusiastic as ever even in the early morning, almost crashed into her friend trying to give her a hug. Willow loved this affectionate aspect of her. She had always loved to give and receive that type of affection, but it was something very uncommon for most people on the Boiling Isles.

“It was really fun! I think we should all hang out together sometime. I actually asked Skara to give me the names of some of the bands they were listening to, I think I might have similar tastes to them!” Willow had already talked to Luz over the phone extensively about it last night, but she didn’t mind repeating herself, especially since Gus was there too.

“I dunno. They seem kinda scary…” Gus was rubbing his chin while he looked into the distance, eyes narrowed, towards where Amelia was watering some of the school’s plants and idly chatting with Cat. The girls laughed between each other, completely oblivious to his suspicion. “Real scary…”

“They’re fine, trust me! I think you’d have a lot of fun with Amelia, Gus. I could see you two being a great comedy duo.”

“Well, you’ve never let me down so far, Willow. I’ll trust you with my life.” He made an exaggerated bowing motion, causing Luz to burst in laughter.

“Oh man, I’d love to see that! Ooh, we could form an extra big grudgby team, the three of us, Amity, and the Banshees, we’d be unbeatable! They could call us… The Hexide Eight” She struck a dramatic pose, her eyes closed and a fist raised to the sky. “The name still needs a little work, maybe.”

A familiar giggle came up from behind them. “I think you’d need to make a whole new sport for eight people to be on the field.”

“Amity!” Luz exclaimed as she ran over to give her a hug. Willow didn’t try to repress her chuckle or her knowing grin when she noticed the pink hue that completely covered Amity’s face.

“Hey, you three. Sounds like your time with the Banshees went ok, Willow”

“Yeah, she’s all ready to introduce us to her new best friends.” Gus was wiping away fake tears.

“Aw, come on, I’m not gonna  _ replace _ you with anyone! They’re just a lot nicer than I thought. Thanks for the suggestion, Amity, it went really well.”

Amity’s smile was practically glowing when she heard this, and Willow was sure she could never express with words how much it warmed her heart to be responsible for that expression on her friend’s face. 

“Now that Willow’s friends with them, I’m one step further in my evil plan to make all of Hexide into my friends! Mwahahaha!” Luz added with her best attempt at a devilish grin.

Willow chuckled loudly, not at the joke, but seeing Amity’s reaction. The green-haired girl was alternating between covering her twinkling eyes and her grinning mouth, making her joy all the more obvious.  _ She must find it incredibly adorable, huh.  _ She silently wondered if she’d ever had the same reaction with anyone, but couldn’t think of an example. 

They continued their banter as they walked to class, Amity joining them. Ever since she and Willow had started to make up, she’d become a regular part of their group. She still wasn’t as comfortable with them as they were with each other, especially with Gus, who vividly remembered the time he’d spent comforting Willow over her lost friendship. She was trying, though, and it was clear to Willow that she was happy with the steady progress.

Shortly before their classes started, Luz pulled Willow aside and wrapped an arm around her to ask something in a hushed voice. 

“Hey, do you want me to come along when you’re with Boscha later? I know you said you were ok yesterday, but…”

“It’s fine, Luz, thank you. I think it’d be better to spend some time alone with her if I wanna ever be ok with her company, you know?”

Luz didn’t try to hide her concern for her friend, and Willow embraced the bittersweet feeling of seeing her friend care so much for her. Luz was a very important friend, and sometimes she needed help to be reminded the feeling was mutual. 

“Alright. I’ll trust you, Willow. Shout if you need any help, though, ok? I mean, it’s not like I’m planning on taking Gus and Amity with me to hang out somewhere close to you or anything  _ ridiculous _ like that, but keep it in mind.” She said with a wink as she pulled Willow into a tight hug.

Willow couldn’t even begin to hide her fondness as she chuckled into her friend’s shoulder. “Alright, alright.” 

She pulled away and looked into Luz’s eyes with a warm smile right as the bell rang. “You’re a great friend, Luz.” She said, then headed for her morning classes.

…

“There’s a place near the school- it’s kind of a small park, and it’s pretty abandoned. But there’s a couple of swings that you can sit on, and nobody really goes there, so it’s… I feel comfortable there, like I can really relax. I think it’s a nice place to just  _ be _ there, you know? So, like, what do you think?”

With those words, Boscha had brought up the park where they ended up spending their time after school. She’d been right: it was clear nobody used it, especially not in the middle of winter. To Willow, it felt like a desolate place; the harsh temperature and the lack of care for the park meant there was no greenery whatsoever, and the absence of people made her feel out of place. Still, all it took was one glance at Boscha to tell this was somewhere she felt at ease.

While Willow was sure her face looked pale, weak to winter as she was, Boscha didn’t give any sign of discomfort from the weather. She had a slight blush, and Willow thought she could detect a faint smile on her face as she looked into the distance from her seat on the swing next to hers.

“Thanks for giving me this chance- I mean, you know.” Boscha sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose, seemingly irritated at herself. “I know I said it before but, I know I was really just  _ awful _ with you, and I think it’s cool that you were ok with hanging out with me anyway. Or, not  _ anyway _ , just- What I mean is, sorry.”

Willow nodded silently without looking at Boscha and did her best to avoid sighing. She’d tried apologizing before, so it wasn’t surprising, but it was still impressive how bad she was at it. Willow knew it wouldn’t get much better anytime soon, so she tried to change the subject to something less serious. Putting this off for a while wouldn’t hurt.

“You know, yesterday I actually went to your hideout with Cat, Skara and Amelia. We hung out for a couple of hours, and I had fun. That’s where I got your number, by the way.”

Boscha’s wide-eyed expression let Willow know they hadn’t told her about this. “Oh, really? That’s- You said you had fun? That’s great! They’re… they’re fun, yeah.”

“Yeah. Cat made some great tea for us, and she was really nice. She even helped me with some class stuff I had trouble with. I got to hear Skara play the bass and the guitar for a while, and that was great! And Amelia is just a lot of fun to chat with, she always has something to say.”

Boscha seemed to relax a little more, and her smile let some fondness for her friends shine through, surprising Willow with a side of her she’d never seen before. 

“Yeah, they’re really great. You know, I usually feel like being around other people gets- It gets tiring, exhausting after just a while. But with them it kinda feels like when I’m alone. In a good way! I mean, it’s like, relaxing.

“And they’re good at being with other people, too, so I’m sure they were way nicer with you than…”

Willow felt a pang of sadness, knowing how Boscha would have ended that sentence. But she also couldn’t avoid the memory of the same girl insulting her, calling her half a witch. It was still hard for her to reconcile that the voice that seemed so remorseful now was the same voice that sometimes repeated her own insecurities back at her, that helped cement the feelings of inferiority she couldn’t always escape.

“I thought I’d spend time with them because, well, I wanted to see some of what you were like when you weren’t... “  _ Shoot, now is not the time for this. _ “I wanted to see how your friends were, if they were easier to be around, outside of the ball of stress that is school. To see if maybe I could learn to… to move past our differences, and spend time together that isn’t as negative.”

Boscha nodded, looking straight ahead, a solemn expression on her face. “So… did you reach a verdict on that?” She asked, almost too quietly for Willow to hear. While she waited for a response, she started biting her lip with a slightly alarming amount of force.

“I think… Boscha, when I think about you, I don’t just think about the things you said to me. I think about the way you kept coming at me with all the same insecurities I’ve always had, just when I was starting to think maybe they weren’t true. My friends were there to help, but I was finally being accepted, and accepting myself, and it felt like I was taken back to where I started. I was back to losing sleep with thoughts that said there’s no way anyone could like me, that I could never measure up to anything. You hit me where it hurt the most.”

Willow had been staring into the ground, but a quick glance let her know Boscha had a trickle of blood coming from her lips now.

“I say this to let you know that it’s not going to be easy. But if you’re really going to try, if you can be… as pleasant, or as agreeable as the rest of the Banshees, like they are now, like Amity is now, I can try too. It’s going to be hard, but I think we could be friends.”

She let out a deep sigh, not completely happy with her ability to express her feelings but relieved to have let them out in some way, to be able to have this conversation with someone who’d hurt her to that extent.

“...ends…”

She heard an almost imperceptible sound next to her, and noticed Boscha was now looking at her, or at least in her direction.

“What?”

“J- just friends?”

Willow blinked repeatedly, her mind having some difficulty with processing the question.  _ What does she mean? What else could she want? Does she not want to be friends, then, but rivals or something? I don’t understand this girl at all. _

“I… What?”

“N-no, I mean, sorry, nevermind, that’s, you’re right. Yeah. Thank you, Willow, It’s not going to be easy, I understand, I know I messed up really bad, and it’s going to take a while. So, nevermind. Thank you.”

Seeing Boscha stammering, her face flushed with color, something clicked into place for Willow. The blushing around her, the sudden attempts to be friendly. The crush the Banshees had mentioned, the one that had made her try to be better, the one that made her want to start studying in the plant track. She hadn’t wanted to see it, but she’d been able to tell Amity liked Luz with even less clues. She couldn’t escape the realization for long. 

“Wait, Boscha, do you… like me?”

Willow noticed Boscha’s face take on a multitude of expressions in the seconds after her question. She seemed to be struggling with her own fears, and the color had drained from her face. She gripped the chains that held up her swing until her knuckles went white, and muttered something to herself under her breath. 

While going through her own set of doubts and conflicting emotions, Willow remained silent until she heard a response, all the while dreading what it might be.

“Yeah. Yeah, I… I like you, Willow. I think that’s why I started to be so awful when I saw you getting more popular, and it’s definitely why I want us to be closer now. I don’t just want to be friends, I wanna be… more, to you.” 

Willow’s thoughts went quiet for a second, her mind shutting down at the excessive feelings that were running rampant in response to Boscha’s confession. The one that quickly took hold of her and guided her answer was anger.

“You started to harass me because you  _ liked me _ ? You started to chip away at what little confidence I had earned, to take shots at the happiness that I’d started to feel when I started to like myself more, because you had a  _ crush on me _ ?

“You’re telling me that the reason I had to listen to the voice in my head that says I’m a worthless excuse for a witch again is because you couldn’t handle having a crush?!” 

She’d stood up during her outburst and she had both hands balled up into fists at her side, and she was glaring daggers at Boscha.

“Tell me this is a joke. Boscha, tell me you didn’t actually hurt me like that because of such a  _ nonsense  _ reason.”

Boscha hadn’t moved an inch from her position, but now she turned to look directly at Willow for the first time since they’d come here. The trickle of blood from her lip hadn’t stopped, and her eyes were watering now.

“I don’t know! I was confused, I’d never had those feelings for a girl like that before, and Amity had also stopped talking to us all of a sudden, and it was just a lot-”

“So because you were confused you’re gay it’s ok for you to harass me?! What kind of logic is that?”

“You don’t understand! I’m not like you, you always had your parents as an example. You don’t know what it’s like to be from this  _ awful _ family.” She’d fully started crying now, her face looking pitiful and drenched. The sight contradicted Willow’s entire conception of Boscha’s personality, and the shock of seeing that was enough to quell her anger for the moment. This gave them time for the girl’s pained speech to take hold in Willow’s mind.

“I could never be  _ like that _ . They’d disown me, or worse. I’ve heard of kids whose parents tried to  _ force _ them to change, not even that long ago. It’s-” She cut off her sentence with a shudder, which combined with her passive shivering to make the swing she was sitting on shake. “I just- I can’t just do what I want like you, Willow, if I’m not the perfect lady who will give them the perfect heir, or if I’m not the perfect heir myself, I’m more than worthless to them.

“And I know it’s messed up, I know I had no reason to act like that, but I was  _ scared _ , I was… scared, and angry, and I’ve never been-” She visibly couldn’t hold her crying back any longer, and her speaking broke down into sobbing, loud and ugly. 

She reached back and ripped off her hair tie, letting her shoulder-length hair down and using it to cover her crying face. It felt like the culmination of all the glimpses Willow had seen of Boscha today that made her seem like a different person. Her image of Boscha had been almost completely broken, and now all she could see was the girl in front of her, reduced to a wailing mess by fear and remorse. 

Her anger had completely given way to confusion, but beyond that, she couldn’t ignore her caring instincts. However complicated her feelings towards Boscha were, she didn’t have the time to dwell on that when she had a girl weeping so painfully in front of her. She took a few quick steps and wrapped her arms around Boscha, holding her tightly and letting her tears soak through her uniform.

Boscha seemed to hesitate at first, but after a few seconds she started to hold onto Willow’s back, gripping her clothes but making sure not to dig her nails into her body. Willow could feel her gentle tremors whenever she took in air, the cold shivering she couldn’t avoid any longer. She could only see the back of Boscha’s head from above, her straight purple hair gleaming in the early winter evening’s light.

Neither of them was sure for how long they held that position while Boscha’s tears slowly settled down, Willow’s anger having quickly subsided. Even after her sobs had become inaudible, Willow could still feel her chest moving up and down in fits and starts, along with the sniffles that were inevitable after such a long cry. 

Eventually, Willow heard a small, hoarse voice coming from beside her chest.

“This is why… You see how kind you are? Even after all I’ve done, you’re still so good to me. You came over to comfort me as soon as I started crying like an awful, broken mess. That’s why I like- no, why I love you, Willow.” 

Their eyes met. Boscha had a bittersweet smile now, and Willow could feel both the spite in her self-deprecation and the deep affection in her expression of love. She was taken aback, and didn’t know how to respond. She was still trying to process the emotional weight of everything that had been said, everything that had happened, when another confusing scene got added to the pile.

Boscha leaned forward with her eyes narrowed, almost in a daze. It took Willow a second to realize what was happening, and her body reacted to the imminent kiss without her thinking. She let go of Boscha and took a hasty step back, which caused Boscha to stumble forward, her hands still holding onto Willow’s back. She quickly let go and jumped back, stumbling again and strongly gripping the swing’s chain to steady herself. She looked appalled by what had just happened, and they stared silently at each other’s shocked expressions for a few seconds.

“...No.” Willow threw out with a quiet but determined force. It was all she could bring herself to say.

Boscha’s expression turned into one of terror, and she put her hands out in front of her as she stammered out a response.

“I-I, I’m so sorry! I was just, you were so close, and I just didn’t think- I didn’t mean- I’m so sorry, Willow.

“These feelings, I’ve really never felt so strongly about someone else. I lost myself for a moment, but- I need you to understand. I don’t ever want to hurt you again. If that means I have to wait, it doesn’t matter how long. Until you can feel more comfortable with me. Until, maybe, you feel the same way.

“And if you want me to keep my distance, I understand, but… You’re a wonderful person, and I really, really like you, Willow. Thank you. I’m sorry. I should go.”

Willow was left with her heart in her mouth, her thought process in complete disarray as she watched Boscha run off, her hurried footsteps echoing through the empty street around the park. Everything that had ended up happening in this conversation had already been too much, but the attempted kiss and both of their reactions had left her completely drained.

She wasn’t quite sure how long she spent just standing there, frozen alone with her tangled up thoughts, until she finally took out her phone and sent Luz a message. It only took her only a couple of minutes to show up alongside Gus and a timid Amity, and Willow decided not to think about how close they must have been.

Luz immediately wrapped her up in a hug when she saw she was alone, Gus following shortly after. Amity stood by for a few seconds until Willow turned to look at her without letting go, and she took the cue to join in.

“Are you ok, Willow?” Asked Luz.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Really. I’m just a little confused, and I think there’s a lot I have to think about. But I’m not really sad or anything… Actually, I feel like I got a lot of things off my chest. 

“We should go, though, it’s getting late. We can talk about it later. Thanks for coming here, you three.” She gave them the best warm smile she could muster despite her exhaustion.

“You know we’re always here for you.”

“You’re our best friend!”

“You’ve done much bigger things for all of us, Willow.”

They all turned to leave, Luz holding Willow’s hand with her own, a gesture she appreciated despite everything that had just happened. When they were about to round a corner and leave the park out of sight, Willow turned around to take one last glance at it. 

Something about the scene seemed out of place, however. She distinctly remembered there being almost no vegetation in the park, but now she could make out two very clashing sprouts at the foot of the swings Boscha and her had just been in. 

In front of the swing where she’d been sitting, there was a tangled mess of vines, its sides full of thorns that looked painful even from a distance. In front of Boscha’s swing, there was a burst of color that would surprise anyone with a passing knowledge of plants; a neat circle tightly packed with yellow star-shaped flowers, which Willow recognized as daffodils. Though their color lacked the strength it would have in the spring, their full blossom uplifted the atmosphere of the park, giving it a sense of life that denied its previously desolate aura.

Willow had fully stopped and was staring at the strange scene with her mouth agape, wondering if she could possibly be the cause of the undeniable change in the landscape. This prompted Luz to question her with a curious look.

“Is something wrong, Willow?”

“N-no, it’s nothing. Let’s go.”

She did her best to put on a comforting smile and left the park behind, letting her friends lead the way and willfully losing herself in the flow of meaningless conversation with them. It let her return to a feeling of comfort she had sorely missed during that entire afternoon.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew... Ok, this is a pretty big one. I hope I was able to capture some of what both of these girls are going through, because it's a *lot* and they've started to mean a lot to me.  
> I have a lot to say about this chapter but I think it's also best if I don't make the notes on this one too long, so all I'll say is as always I really appreciate any comments y'all may have and I really hope people are enjoying this!  
> Thanks a lot for reading.


	4. A Helping Hand.

The Owl House’s living room had become a familiar, comfortable place for the trio of Willow, Luz and Gus. Besides it being where Luz lived, it had also become the three friends’ preferred place to hang out when they had free time from school. Whenever they weren’t getting into some adventure out in the Boiling Isles, they could usually be found in this living room, exchanging stories, playing, or simply making themselves comfortable on the couch.

It was the day after Boscha had confessed her feelings to Willow, and the first day of the weekend. The three of them had been there together since early that day, Luz and Gus eager to hear about everything that had happened with Willow. She had finished recounting everything from the previous day, and they’d been talking about her burst of anger when she’d heard about the reason for Boscha’s bullying.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been that angry at someone my entire life. I’ve definitely never yelled that much before.”

“I think I have some idea of what it must’ve been like…” Luz suppressed a shudder, remembering the time she’d seen Willow angry inside her own mind. “Maybe it’s good you let some of that anger out, Willow. Bottling it up only makes things worse, so maybe now that it’s off your chest, moving forward will be a little easier.”

“Yeah, that’s probably true. I definitely feel… lighter. Although the other stuff is still weighing on me.” She narrowed her eyes and raised an eyebrow. “I can’t believe she’s felt so strongly about me for so long. I kinda never expected anyone would.”

“Of course someone would get feelings like that for you! You’re an amazing girl!”

Willow didn’t feel relieved at all to hear that, and she couldn’t help but deepen her furrowed brow.

“Err, right, I guess that’s not really what you want from her though…”

“Still, I can’t believe she tried to kiss you like that!” Gus chimed in with a hint of anger in his voice. “Who does she think she is?”

“I don’t know, I mean, she was very vulnerable at that moment- She was probably just confused…”

“You’re  _ too _ forgiving sometimes, you know?” He answered with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m not saying it was  _ right _ for her to do that! But you didn’t see her, Gus. She was crying, and she just looked so defenseless and in pain, like… She was scared. I never thought I’d see Boscha so scared of anything.”

“That is a little hard to believe, yeah.” Gus was now rubbing his chin, trying to imagine the scene.

“So what do you think about her confession?” Luz suddenly asked. She’d been fiddling with a pen for a while now, restless and clearly forcing herself to be patient before asking.

Willow grabbed her arm and stared at the floor. She hadn’t been able to make heads or tails of anything since she and Boscha had talked the previous day. She hadn’t felt so trapped in her own thoughts in a very long time now, not since she’d started to reconcile with Amity.

“I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be feeling right now.” 

“It’s not about what you’re  _ supposed _ to feel, it’s about how you  _ do  _ feel! Like, did your heart skip a beat when she told you? Or now, do you think you want to hold hands with her, anything like that?” Gus cut in with clear enthusiasm in his eyes, undercutting his previous anger.

“Wait, isn’t holding hands just a normal friends thing?”

“That’s just you, Luz, most witches don’t do that kind of thing so easily.”

Luz seemed shocked at the revelation, and her amusing face shook Willow out of her daze by making her chuckle.

“Well, I don’t really mind anyway, Luz. I think it’s nice, so don’t worry about it.”

“Hey, wait a second, don’t avoid the question!”

Willow looked down, uncertainty returning to her face. “I’m just not sure.”

“Is it because she’s a girl?”

“I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t think it would be any different if she wasn’t a girl, you know? It’s like, I don’t really get how to  _ tell _ if I like her or not.”

“Have you never had a crush on someone before?” Gus asked, tilting his head. “It’s like, you can’t stop thinking about that person, or you wanna spend more time with them than anyone else, or-”

“You feel butterflies in your stomach!” Luz suddenly exclaimed.

Seeing the wide-eyed, concerned look her friends were giving her, she explained further with an embarrassed smile. “Oh, it’s a human expression. Not real butterflies, just, you get like a tingly feeling in your stomach when you talk to them, like you’re nervous but in a good way!”

“Hmmm… Yeah, I think I know what you mean. That happens too!”

Seeing her friends acting so certain about this topic, including Gus who was two years younger than herself, made Willow feel a pang of shame for being so unsure. Gus even understood Luz’s unusual idiom after a very brief explanation, while she still didn’t understand how nervousness could be good in any context.

“Willow?” Her friends were staring at her with concerned looks on their faces.

_ I must have been really sulking. Didn’t I say to myself I’d try to be more open about my feelings after everything with Amity? _

“Sorry, I just feel a little silly. I mean, I can’t remember ever feeling that way… At least, not that I can say with confidence. Do you think that’s… wrong? Is it bad that I’m this old and I haven’t felt something like that before?” Tears were beginning to build up in her eyes, and she inwardly criticized her own lack of control over her emotions.

Luz took Willow’s hand in hers after hesitating for a second, then placed her other hand on her friend’s shoulder reassuringly. Gus moved closer as well, mirroring Luz on the opposite side.

“Of course there’s nothing wrong with it, Willow. It’s not like there’s a time limit for love, you’re perfectly fine! I’m sure you’ll find someone eventually.”

“What if I don’t? What if I’m just not… capable?”

Luz looked thoughtful for a second and unexpectedly stayed quiet, taking out her phone and typing quickly into it. Gus took the opportunity to speak up, giving her friend a smile tinted with fondness. 

“Willow, don’t be ridiculous! You’re like, the sweetest person I know along with Luz! Of course you’re gonna feel love eventually, I’m sure sometimes it just takes time. Maybe someone confessing to you is how you start to feel it! Right, Luz?

“Um, Luz?”

Luz was focusing on her phone so much she was clearly blocking out everything around her, muttering to herself while she did. “I’m sure I’d heard of something before… Wait, I think I found it!”

She suddenly thrust the phone so close into Willow’s face she couldn’t read anything. Willow gently took the phone from her hand and started reading the article that was open on it, with Gus hovering over her shoulder and reading along. 

It was an article about “Aromantic” people, a term neither of them had ever heard before. Luz had introduced them to a few terms like that from the human realm, but most of them had ended with “-sexual” or “-gender”, while this seemed to be specifically talking about romantic feelings. In particular, people who didn’t experience those feelings, or did in a limited manner.

When they were finished reading, they saw Luz had started drawing magic glyphs on one of her many notepads to contain her restlessness while they read. She eagerly looked up and grabbed her phone back, directing a beaming smile at Willow.

“So? What do you think?”

“So you’re saying I might be, um... Aromantic?” She placed a hand on her chin while she considered the possibility.

“That would be cool!” Gus chimed in. “I didn’t know that was a thing, so maybe that just means I was wrong and you just won’t get feelings like that. And that’d be obviously ok!” He gave Willow a big thumbs up with one eye closed in a wink.

“But how would I even... know? I mean, this talks a lot about ‘romantic attraction’ but I’m not even sure what that is. What if I  _ have _ felt that, or if I feel it in the future, and just don’t recognize it?” Willow was fiddling with her fingers and looking at them with narrowed eyes, as if scrutinizing them for answers.

“Hmmm… I think it’s just like, wanting to be something more than friends with someone? If you ever feel that, then maybe…” Luz trailed off, seeing her friend barely react to what she was saying. “Well, I think if you feel it, you’ll know! Or something!” She flashed a reassuring smile and patted Willow’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Thank you, Luz, it’s an interesting thought.” Willow smiled weakly at her friend’s attempt to help her. Both of her best friends were being really considerate, and they were doing their best to help her figure things out, but now that she knew about this new possibility it felt like she only had more questions than before.

_ If I don’t feel that attraction, how will I know? How can I tell for sure that I don’t feel something when I’m not even sure what that something is? How can I be sure of the absence of a feeling?  _ She suppressed a groan, not wanting to show her inner turmoil.

She was grateful for their enthusiastic help, but she knew her friends and herself well. They wouldn’t get anywhere by talking about it any longer, her doubts were too abstract and hard to explain. The day had only just started, though, and she wanted to actually have  _ fun _ with two of her favorite people.

“Ok, Boscha talk is over! Let’s do something fun!” She flashed the best unconcerned grin she could muster. It was a little forced, as she wasn’t feeling great, but she knew soon enough she would be able to lose herself in the joy of spending time with her friends.

“Oooh, that reminds me, Eda said she would let me fly with Owlbert today!”

“She did?”

“Well, something like that. What are you, a cop? Don’t worry about it, let’s just go! We can go see the whole island from the sky!”

Luz ran outside, giggling to herself and leaving her friends behind to consult with each other.

“...Do you know what a cop is, Willow?”

“No idea. Let’s go.” She said with a giggle as they followed Luz out. And just like that, everything about Boscha was out of sight, and out of mind.

…

The next day, Amity had invited Willow for a study date in the library. Like they both could have predicted, they managed to study for barely thirty minutes before getting distracted by each other. They quickly gave up and decided to spend the day outside, taking full advantage of one of the few mild and warm winter days they got on the Boiling Isles. The midday sun was shining brightly as they sat down near the edge of a fountain close to Willow’s house, one of her favorite spots to sit and relax.

“Sorry I can’t offer to just hang out in my room, it’s just…”

“I get it, Amity. You don’t have to apologize.” 

Everything she knew now about Amity’s parents made Willow’s usually passive demeanor hard to maintain whenever she was reminded of them. Her blood boiled in anger, thinking about how they’d controlled her dear friend’s life so closely as to make her feel miserable. Seeing Amity’s anguished face when the subject came up made her wish she could hug her friend’s problems away, or failing that, use magic to send them flying.

This last thought gave her an impulsive idea, something she could do with her magic to soothe her friend a little. She suddenly walked over to the nearest patch of grass, ignoring her friend’s questioning look. She took a deep breath and concentrated as much as she could, focusing her positive feelings for Amity into her magic, something that always helped her obtain better results. 

She directed the growth of a sturdy tree into a very peculiar shape, making a single wide branch sprout horizontally and covering it with many layers of soft leaves. It was a spell that required a degree of precision and power combined that was more demanding than anything she’d previously attempted.

She felt exhausted when her precise work was finished, but the end result had been more than worth it. The tree she’d created extended sideways with its branch that now resembled an absolutely comfortable and beautiful seat, big enough for the two of them to sit next to each other on the gently rustling green leaves that covered it. 

Her emotional touch had manifested in a smattering of small pink flowers that covered the trunk and fluttered as they fell from the tree’s crown. The tree had an air of kindness to it; the unusual scenery of vibrant green and pink in the beginnings of winter was inviting and comforting for the two girls who were staring up at it in a daze.

“Whoa! Willow, this is… it’s beautiful.” Amity said with a wide-eyed, astonished expression and a small delighted smile.

“Yeah, it’s… I’m glad this is what I decided to spend all my energy on, cause I definitely need to rest now.”

Willow tried to hide her exhaustion with a sheepish smile, but she had used up a lot of magic very quickly to make this. Amity climbed on the slightly elevated seat and extended a hand out to her, using what little strength she had to help her up.

“It’s incredible you could even do something like this and not just collapse immediately! Your power with plant magic is seriously impressive.” 

“We’ve all got our thing! You do great with abominations, and you can even do other spells really well too.”

“Hey! How come you always turn every compliment around on me? That’s cheating.” Amity looked away with a pout as her cheeks turned red.

“Maybe it’s because the way you blush when someone says something nice about you is adorable?” Willow flashed a wicked grin. “Though the difference between when I do it and when Luz does is massive.”

Amity hid her flushed face in her hands. “You’re a demon, Willow! Are you ever gonna stop teasing me about this?”

“Maybe I will once you get together… Then again, I’m sure it will still be fun.” She said with a wink.

“How can you say that we’re going to with so much confidence? I wish I could feel so sure.” Amity said with a subtle frown.

“I don’t know, I just feel like I know you two well enough, and I can totally see it happening.”

A smile filled with fondness came over Willow as she heard her friend chuckle in response. Bantering with Amity like this always gave her a huge burst of energy, and that helped her recover very quickly from her earlier feat. Being with her friends and making them happy was the one thing in her life that made Willow feel invincible. 

Still, she couldn’t escape all her doubts. Even spending time with Amity now, she had a hard time suppressing the thoughts that had been troubling her since yesterday. Her uncertainty about romance and its role in her life had been a topic her mind couldn’t shake off. 

If there was one thing she’d learned, however, was that confronting her doubts together with those dear to her was the best way to deal with them. After a brief pause for consideration, she voiced a question that had been on her mind for a while.

“Hey, Amity, how did you… How did you know? That you liked Luz, I mean. How did you realize that’s what it was?”

“Oh, is this about you and… Let me think for a second.”

Amity seemed to really consider her answer, taking a few moments to make sure she could be of help to her friend. Willow had mentioned the possibility they’d discovered the previous day to her in passing earlier, and she clearly cared about giving a helpful response.

“I think it was around Grom. When I remembered it was about to happen, I couldn’t shake the thought that I wanted to go with Luz. I was confused at first, cause I thought it was weird for me to want to go to such a pointless party with anyone, especially a girl who I wasn’t really close with.

“But as I kept thinking, I realized it wasn’t just Grom. Before I noticed it, I’d started to think about Luz every day, how I wanted to see her or spend more time with her. And I worried about whether she liked me a lot more than I did with anyone else. And since it would be Grom soon, I thought about things people did there, like dancing or… kissing, with her, and that’s when it really clicked into place for me. That I really liked Luz, and wanted to be special to her.”

Willow leaned into Amity affectionately to show she appreciated her friend’s sincerity. She thought it was adorable how she rambled with a lovestruck look in her eyes and how much she’d blushed when she mentioned kissing, but teasing her didn’t feel appropriate in the moment.

“That’s... good to know. As an example. And it’s very sweet. Thanks, Amity.”

“Are you thinking about whether you’ve felt like that before?”

“Yeah. I guess I just have a hard time thinking about what’s considered romantic in general? I mean, I love hand holding and cuddling, and I feel like kissing might be nice. But I never considered those things to be special, you know?”

“That makes sense. For me, thinking of those as special is what let me realize my feelings for Luz were also special. Is there anything that you  _ do _ consider like that?”

“I really can’t think of anything. And it’s not like I’d kiss just anyone! But I think maybe that’d be nice with someone I’m really good friends with? But I don’t see that as being different to the way  _ we _ are friends, or the way I am with Luz.”

When what she’d just said fully registered in Willow’s mind, she felt a small flash of panic. She had worked hard to feel as comfortable with Amity as she did with her other close friends, after all this time, but what she’d said without thinking felt like something she should have kept secret from anyone. It took all of her willpower to not immediately take everything back, but the fact Amity hadn’t clearly reacted in a negative way helped her redirect her anxiety in a slightly better direction.

“Oh, wait, that’s really weird isn’t it? I’m sorry, I don’t-”

“No! Willow, of course it’s not weird!”

“But… those are things people always associate with love, and that’s supposed to be really special, and you feel that way about someone else, but here I am telling you that I’d be ok with it from a friend like you, and-”

“Willow, please. Take a deep breath. It’s ok, trust me. I’m not weirded out or anything, see?” Amity held her hand tightly, her attempt at a comforting smile failing to overpower her concerned face. “I don’t think it’s weird at all.

“It’s not something I would want to do, I think. But that has nothing to do with it. Just look at me, I like Luz, and she’s a human, a  _ girl _ . She’s not someone my parents would ever be alright with me dating. But you’ve never seen that as wrong, and neither has any of our friends.

“And Skara, they aren’t a girl despite what their parents or any adult says, and you agree with that, don’t you? And they’re dating Amelia while she dates Cat too. And I  _ know _ you would never say that’s weird or wrong.”

“Wait, really? I didn’t know. That’s… pretty cool, actually.”

“I know, right? See! If all of these expressions are cool, if they’re valid, regardless of how much any adult says they’re not, why wouldn’t  _ your _ expression of love for your friends be cool too?”

Willow relaxed her shoulders for the first time since she’d started to panic, and she started to absentmindedly rub her thumb on Amity’s hand. A little color returned to her face while she thought of everything Amity had listed off. 

That wasn’t even all the people they knew that had expressions of love that went beyond the “normal” of a lot of adults. She remembered the talks she’d had with Luz and Gus about the many words humans used to describe themselves, how Gus had found a particular connection with the term “Bisexual” that Luz herself also used. She could even think about her dads, happily in love for decades, about Eda, who’d hinted she had an interest in women as well. 

“Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. Maybe it’s not considered ‘normal’, but that just means ‘normal’ is wrong. I feel that way about everyone else, so… I should feel that way about myself too.”

She knew it wouldn’t be as easy as simply saying that to erase her doubts, but it was a good first step. Amity interlaced their fingers and held Willow’s hand up, giving her a kind smile that warmed her heart and made her realize how much her friend had been pushing herself to comfort her.

“This is as far as I’m comfortable with right now. And I don’t know if I’m ever gonna feel the same way about friendships as you do, or if you’re ever going to feel about someone the way I feel about Luz. But that’s ok, Willow. You’re my friend, and I promise this time I’m gonna stick with you no matter what.”

“Amity, you’re…” Willow gave her the fondest smile she could form. “You’ve gotten  _ so _ much better at this! You’re a natural!”

Amity burst into laughter at the sudden laid-back response, covering her mouth with her free hand.

“I learned from the best.” She flashed Willow a joyful grin.

Willow let herself relax again, leaning her head on Amity’s shoulders without letting go of her hand. She indulged in their friendly affection, closing her eyes, taking a deep breath and enjoying the joyful moment. Her thoughts drifted to how much their friendship meant to her, and she felt certain that everything would be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been editing this chapter for so long and I just needed to be done with it so it's out >.< hope y'all enjoyed it! Now here's a little message about being queer from me:
> 
> Willow is questioning her feelings a lot and she might come to the conclusion she's aromantic, but that doesn't mean her way of expressing love in platonic relationships or her confusion about romantic attraction or anything about her experience is universal for being aro! If you feel or act differently and still identify with that label, or if you feel and/or act very similarly but don't identify as aro, or if the way you identify changes, that does not make you or your identity any less valid and worthy of being defended at all! Ace/aro identities are on a huge spectrum, same as every other queer label I can think of, and every place in that spectrum is equally worthwhile!  
> Every queer identity is valid and I will defend you with my [Expletive Redacted] life!!! 
> 
> Anyway now that that's over: Oh god I have no idea how long the next chapter is gonna take, I have been trying to build a backlog of at least one chapter before publishing but then I had a huge slump this week so I have no idea how that's gonna go >.> I will finish this though! Sooner or later! Promise!  
> Thanks a lot for reading and I would love and appreciate any comments cause they keep me motivated super duper a lot and I need that jsdlfkjsdlkfjsdl Thanks and bye!!! <3


	5. The Love She Has.

Boscha’s room was absolutely dark, with almost none of the morning sun’s light peeking through the closed window. She had been there for the entire weekend, laying in bed and staring at her phone or at the ceiling, occasionally getting up to attempt to study or to eat a meal. Her parents had been away, so she was alone in her home, and that was exactly what she wanted. Or at least she thought it was.

Maybe she had simply isolated herself because she felt too guilty to spend time and be happy with anyone. Or maybe she was trying to hide from the pain she felt when she had to confront her poor social skills and the actions they’d led to. Either way, the isolation which had been her shield since the day she confessed her love was now inevitably crumbling, as the alarm on her phone uncaringly let her know.

Because it was monday morning, and she couldn’t skip school. She knew it was pointless to keep postponing the inevitable, so she had been trying to gather the energy she needed to step out of bed and get ready. She had been at this for an hour now, and finally her struggle was starting to pay off. Once the blankets had been pushed to the side and she was feeling the chill of winter in her bones, she knew she couldn’t stay in bed for much longer.

As she got up and went to turn on the lights in her room, she saw herself in the mirror by her bed. One of her routines was to talk out loud while staring in the mirror, confirming her own existence and validating it, reminding herself that she was there, that she was a fighter, that she would make it through no matter what. That she was right, no matter what anyone said.

“You are talented.” She started, her voice hoarse and weak, having not used it in two days. “You are a star. You may be… Ugh. This is pathetic. None of this is true. I’m not talented, and I don’t want to be feared. I…”

_ Want to be loved _ , her thoughts finished for her. She shook her head and looked around her room. Without the multitude of golden trophies that had previously decorated it, it felt barren and pitiful. When she took them down, unable to deal with the realization that she wasn’t the perfect, unbeatable champion she’d convinced herself she was, a part of her wanted to think it would be her first step towards something better. A first step towards being someone people would love, would cheer for willingly and not out of fear. 

Yet another part of her thought, or  _ knew _ , that she would never cut it. That without her stardom, without her trophies, without the physical evidence of achievements to prove her worth, she could never be someone with value. Not in the way her parents wanted her to be, and certainly not in the way everyone else was. Not in the way Willow was.

Her routine, engraved in her muscle memory, had carried her through her usual process, and she was ready to head out for school. The thought of Willow, however, made her freeze on the spot with her hand on her bedroom door’s handle. 

She had been the particular reason Boscha had holed herself up in her room during the weekend. She couldn’t think of the time they last saw each other without her heart being beset by unbearable emotions and memories; she remembered the rightful anger Willow had shown when confronted with the reason for Boscha’s actions, the sympathy and comfort she’d given her when she started crying, opening up her vulnerable heart for the first time in years. The surprise and the hurt in Willow’s eyes when Boscha tried to kiss her.

Boscha knew she’d gone too far before, but now she was sure she’d completely messed everything up. Hundreds of self-deprecating thoughts passed through her head while she stood still, petrified in front of the door. She felt like her body had completely stopped responding to her while she was forced to relive those moments repeatedly, each time with her thoughts taking an even harsher critical edge towards her.

_ If I can just step outside, my body will move on its own and my thoughts will stop. I can’t stay here forever. I need to go. I need to go. I need to go. I need to- GO! _

She made an embarrassing grunting noise as her body finally responded to one of her signals and twisted the door’s handle, and it was as if a spell that had been binding her was just broken. She hurriedly started walking, never letting herself slow down for fear of being frozen once again, and kept her pace until she reached the school, almost out of breath. 

Noticing a familiar figure from afar, Boscha couldn’t contain the relief in her voice as she called out towards her friend, eager to do anything that would let her distract herself from her impending barrage of thoughts.

“Hey, Cat! Early as always, you book… worm…” She trailed off as she noticed the person standing next to Cat, clad in the plant track’s signature green uniform.

“Oh, Boscha. Hi.” Willow said in a perfectly monotone voice.

_ Oh no, why is she here? I’m not ready. What do I say? What do I do? Can I run? No, that’s not going to work. Think, Boscha, think! Oh… She’s so pretty. _

She could feel her cheeks turn a bright red while she stared at her crush, frozen in place and unable to speak. She was snapped out of it by Cat clearing her throat, reminding her she was there.

“Hey, you two. Good morning. I’m not getting involved in this, so, peace.” She said casually, throwing out a peace sign and walking away without a care in the world.

“See you, Cat!” Willow responded with an easy smile, before turning to look at Boscha, who took a second to get her bearings before speaking up.

“Um. Sup?” 

She instinctively hit herself on the forehead with her open palm, the shock of the strike washing away some of the deep embarrassment that was filling her. 

“No, I mean uh, good morning, Willow. I… Sorry. About last time we talked, I really messed up, and-”

“Boscha, we need to talk about this whole thing.” Willow said with a sigh. 

_ Oh no, she’s so disappointed she doesn’t want to see me ever again. I messed it all up, it’s over, it’s- _

“First of all, you need to stop apologizing.”

“Willow, I- Wait, what?”

“I don’t mean that you don’t have anything to apologize for, or that you shouldn’t apologize as soon as you do something bad. But that’s  _ all _ you’ve been doing. It’s an important first step, but nobody’s going to smooth over every mistake with just an apology. You’ve gotta show you mean it. By being better.”

“Right, yeah. Of course, you’re totally right.” She cast her gaze downwards, unable to look her crush in the eye without losing control of her emotions.

“Err, what I mean is, you already apologized for the harassment, and for the attempted kiss. You already said you’re sorry for your mistakes, so an extra apology isn’t gonna change anything. Now the only thing left is to show you’ve learned and you can do better. Okay?”

“... What do you mean by that?” She let herself look towards Willow quizzically.

“I mean what I said last time. I think we could- I want us to be friends. It’s up to you if that goes well.”

The image of Willow implicitly forgiving her and giving her another chance with a smile made her completely forget her shame for a second, leading her to blurt out her innermost wishes.

“That… that’s great. Thank you! Um, if it isn’t too much to ask, would you like to go on a date?” It took all of her willpower to not hit herself again, once she’d realized what she just asked.

“Boscha, I- I really don’t think… I’ve thought about it since you told me how you feel, and I don’t think I feel the same way about you.”

“That’s fine! You don’t have to, really. Just knowing I might have a chance-”

“That’s just it, though. I don’t  _ know _ if you have a chance. I’m not sure I can ever feel… romantically, about anyone.”

Boscha barely processed what she’d been told, instead opting to persist.

“That’s ridiculous! I’m sure you will, Willow. You’re the kindest, most loving person that I know. Of course you’ll feel that way about someone.”  _ And of course, you’re the only one that could ever feel that way about someone like me. _

“You don’t get it! It’s not  _ wrong _ if that’s the case.” Willow was visibly taken aback by the force of her own response. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to get angry, I just- I don’t say this to be self-deprecating. I say it because I know there’s people like that, and I might be one of them. Aromantic, I guess. It’s really confusing though, I’m not sure.”

_ Did she really get so surprised because she got a little angry? Oh no, she’s too adorable. I can’t deal with this. _

“Right. Sor- I mean, alright. I’m not sure I understand, but you don’t need to explain everything to me. I’m ready for the possibility that you never end up feeling the same way.” 

She managed to stay silent for almost a second before once again blurting out a thought without thinking. “I’d still like to go on that date, though! It could just be a friend date.”

Boscha could barely suppress her feelings now, her excitement and embarrassment combining to make the conversation a lot more rushed and hasty than the times she’d rehearsed it in her head.

“You mean just… hang out, like normal?”

“Yeah. It doesn’t have to be anything special, we can just spend time together.”  _ It will be special for me. _ “And I promise there won’t be any more of the awkwardness of last time. You know everything already, anyway.”

“I guess that’s true. In that case… what do you want to do?”

Boscha’s heart jumped a little when she heard the affirmative response, and she grinned from ear to ear. She surprised even herself with the expression, it was the first time she’d smiled so widely in days.

“That’s a yes then! I remember hearing the carnival was coming to town this week. What do you say?”

“In the middle of winter? That’s kinda weird. It’s probably gonna start snowing pretty soon, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” Boscha’s response completely disappeared from her mind at the mention of snow. An image of Willow walking by her side with a light snowfall all around them formed in her head.  _ That would be beautiful _ , she thought.

“Well, I guess that could be fun, anyway! I remember having a lot of fun there with Luz, Gus and King last time. I’m looking forward to going there with you when it comes this week, then.”

Willow’s smile struck Boscha’s heart with conflicting emotions at an intensity that left her speechless. The joy she felt at receiving the warmth Willow’s smile emanated mingled with the sinking bitterness caused by the understanding that her romantic feelings were not returned, along with Willow’s statement that such a thing may be impossible.

Willow had walked away before she could formulate a response, and she was left standing there, trying to understand her own heart’s condition. She continued to prod away at those bittersweet feelings during the week while she waited for the day of their date.

…

Weekend mornings were usually quiet in Boscha’s home. Her parents typically didn’t spend their days of rest in the house; she never knew whether it was because they disliked being holed up inside or because their daughter was there. The daughter they’d never wanted, the only child they could have.

She’d grown to prefer this silence to the sound of them being in the house near her, laughing among themselves and whispering in a way that always made her feel as if she was being watched and judged. Being alone suited her best. Yet today, she was unusually excited about the prospect of spending time with someone else. Excited, and nervous.

She’d been eagerly awaiting the day of her date with Willow the whole week, and five days later it had finally arrived. She made her best effort to quell her expectations, knowing it was very unlikely that Willow would want to be anything more than friends, and that even asking for that much was already hugely selfish. Still, she couldn’t slow down the beating of her heart at all as she made the last adjustments to her outfit and hair.

She had considered wearing her grudgby jacket for a while, but realized the outfit she most associated with her pride was probably the outfit Willow associated with her terrible behavior. So she decided to go with a less potentially problematic outfit, a warm leather jacket with black jeans. She wore her hair down, with one hair clip keeping her bangs out of her eyes on either side, the closest compromise she could reach between wanting to look cute and disliking hair on her face.

Her phone vibrated while she was taking a deep breath to stabilize herself, and it startled her so much she almost dropped it to the floor when her arm shot out to check it. Her shoulders relaxed from their stiff position when she realized it was a message from Amanda, not Willow. It was a photo of her doing a heart shape with her hands, with Skara doubled over laughing by her side. There was an unnecessary amount of emoji hearts on the picture, and it had the caption “Good luck to the loveliest lovebird on her first date!”.

It took a lot of willpower to stop herself from yelling at Amanda as if she was in the room, but she was helped by the deep chuckle that made its way out of her without her consent. She typed out a short response before heading out, her anxiety having almost completely evaporated in an instant. Amelia never expected to receive the simple answer that read “Thanks”.

Boscha took in the fresh air as she made her way to the place they’d decided to meet up. The day was overcast, and an unconscious smile came to her lips when she remembered the first snow of this winter might come soon. She still felt restless, but now it wasn’t so much because of anxiety; she was simply excited she’d get to spend time with Willow. 

She was surprised when she spotted two other familiar faces as soon as she reached her destination. Willow had her back to her, and she was talking to Luz and Amity. Boscha had complex feelings about Amity, but she had to admit that the girl had never looked as happy when she was friends with Boscha as she did lately. She had a beaming smile and a blush had made its home on her cheeks now, and she was holding Luz’s left hand in her right.

_ Huh. Is that what’s going on? _

“What’s up.” She called out as she got within earshot.

“Oh, hey Boscha!” Willow said as she turned around, showing a smile that warmed Boscha’s heart so much she almost felt it burning. “Amity and Luz were just telling me they were going to the carnival too, so they’re gonna walk there with us.”

“That’s cool. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting.” Boscha did her best to give an unconcerned, easy smile, keeping the slight annoyance she felt out of her voice as much as possible. 

_ Be cool, Boscha. You’re still gonna spend time with Willow, and these are her friends. She cares about them. _

“No worries! It’s gonna be so much fun!” Luz said, bouncing in place slightly with obvious enthusiasm all over her face.

“Yeah, well, it’s not like we’re gonna spend the whole day together or anything, though. We should walk there and then split up to do our own thing, right?” Amity said, giving Luz a slight nudge to the side with her elbow.

“Right, of course, yeah!” 

Boscha was shocked for a moment that Amity would suggest exactly what she wanted. Then, she noticed the blush that crept up both Amity and Luz’s faces, and realized it was probably completely unrelated to her own wants.

“Well, what are we waiting for?”

As soon as she finished saying this, Boscha started walking towards the carnival, with the others following after a brief moment of surprise. Despite everything that had happened, and the ways she was trying to change, she still felt the most comfortable in a group when she was the leader. 

She finally let herself take a few glances to the side when Willow settled into walking next to her, and she needed to take a deep breath to control her beating heart. This was all she’d wanted for a long time, walking side by side with her, settling into a comfortable silence, getting to see her in an adorable winter outfit that made her heart skip a beat whenever she glanced to the side.

The muffled sound of giggling from behind snapped Boscha out of her daze, reminding her that there were two extras with them. She glanced back at the two, who were walking with held hands and merrily chatting among themselves.

“So how long have you two been a thing?” She raised her voice to ask, her tone a little drier than she’d intended.

“Oh, just a couple of days now.” Amity said, her eyes darting between the floor and Luz, disgustingly full of affection. 

_ God, is that how I look at Willow? Am I that obvious? _

“Huh. Is that so.” Boscha took another glance at Willow without even realizing she was doing it, and noticed she had a slightly downcast look that was uncharacteristic of her, especially when her friends seemed so joyful.

She furrowed her brow slightly, not wanting to draw attention to herself but also feeling her annoyance grow. How come they got to be happy and lovey dovey together like that while she couldn’t do anything for fear of upsetting Willow, and Willow herself seemed so sad? 

_ Snap out of this. This is not the time to get annoyed. You need to be better, Boscha. Be. Better. _

“I’m sure you two will be very happy together. You’re both… nice, and you clearly like each other. Yeah. Congratulations.”

_ Was that ok? Did that sound genuine? This is exhausting. _

Willow had a surprised reaction for a second, which turned into a subtle smile afterwards. Boscha’s heart did pirouettes at the sight of this.

_ Worth it. _

…

Almost as soon as they reached the carnival, Luz dragged Amity away with eyes that held back none of her enthusiasm. They barely said goodbye as they left Boscha and Willow alone, the latter chuckling lightly and rolling her eyes.

Boscha watched them go and felt a pang of jealousy. They hadn’t let go of each other’s hand since she first saw them, and she couldn’t get the image of her and Willow doing the same out of her mind. And yet, she knew she was the only one of them that felt that way. 

_ I have to earn her trust first. I have to show her I’m better now, that she can be comfortable with me, that she can like me. _

“Boscha?”

She was snapped out of her thoughts by Willow’s slightly concerned question.

“Oh, uh, sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. Did you say something?”

“I was just asking if there was anything you wanted to check out first.”

Boscha looked around, finally taking in the sight of the carnival for the first time. It was different from the last time she’d been to one, with a lot of rides and stands she’d never seen before. 

“Huh, I don’t think I’ve been to most of these before. I have no idea what would even be fun.”

_ Oh no, did I make a mistake? Should I have made research before we came here? _ Her thoughts were starting to lead her to panic when Willow’s voice cut in with an eagerness that made Boscha instantly relax.

“Ooh, what about that ride? ‘The Werewolf’s Cursed Night’? That sounds fun!”

Boscha couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped her, after seeing Willow so excited about a ride with the exact kind of cheesy name she loved.

“Wow, I had no idea you were into that kind of thing too. Maybe next time I can show you my collection of cursed items that I have over at the hideout.” She said with a sincere smile.

Willow giggled. “Great to see you relax a bit more.”

“Oh no, was it showing?” Boscha could feel the heat rise to her cheeks.

“Just a little. You were really stiff and kept zoning out, I was kinda worried.”

“Sorry. It was nothing, thanks for snapping me out of it.” She did her best to put on a reassuring smile. 

“Alright. No need to push yourself if you’re not feeling it, though.” Willow’s smile looked so radiant to Boscha she could swear it overpowered the sun. “Wanna go on that ride, then?”

“Yeah. It sounds like my kind of ride.” She chuckled.

And that it was. ‘The Werewolf’s Cursed Night’ had been exactly the kind of hilariously tacky horror-themed attraction that Boscha loved to mock. Since she was a kid, she’d always had a soft spot for terrible over-the-top horror stories and aesthetics, a theme that was woefully uncommon on the Boiling Isles. Which made it all the more surprising, and delightfully so, that Willow seemed to have the same love for them.

The moment they got off the ride, it was as if a dam had burst for both of them. They started to double over in laughter, unable to speak for a minute while they let out the loud animal laughter they’d barely managed to contain during it.

“That werewolf puppet looked so bad!” Boscha finally managed to say in between chuckles, wiping away tears from her eyes. “Its poor eyes looked so scared…”

“The blood wasn’t even really red! And I can’t believe they used the same scream sound 10 separate times!” Willow was still doubled over in laughter, dangerously close to the floor.

“You noticed it too? It was driving me up the wall! I heard it so many times I feel like I’m gonna hear it when I try to sleep.

“I’m still kinda shocked you like this kind of thing, Willow.” Boscha smiled with genuine warmth showing on her face, fully relaxed and enjoying herself now. “I never met someone else who did, it makes me kinda happy. Sometimes I’d talk to Amelia about it and she’d listen, but she was never really into it.”

“Really? We should have a movie night with Luz sometime then! She was the one who got me into schlocky horror when she showed me a bunch of these old movies from her world.”

Boscha felt a twinge of sadness when Luz came up, but she was surprised at how small it was. Despite wanting to spend more time alone with her crush, simply knowing they shared an interest and they could talk about it with so much joy filled her heart with warm, fuzzy feelings she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“I would love that.” She answered with a sincere smile. “Sounds like a fun time.”

Their laughter had died down and Willow was glancing around at the carnival around them, scanning for different places to go. Boscha noticed a slight dejected look on her eyes, and noticed she looked like she hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep. She considered bringing it up when Willow spoke up.

“I feel like we might have spoiled our fun by going on the best ride as soon as we got here, but maybe we can still be surprised, right? Wanna go check out some other spots?” There was no sign of the downcast look Boscha had just detected on her expression now, like it had been instantly erased.

“Yeah, sure.” She pushed down her doubts and decided it wasn’t her place to intrude at the moment, instead putting on her best smug grin. “What about that shooting gallery? Not to brag, but I’m not just good with potions and sports. You should check out my skills with a wand.”

Willow giggled and rolled her eyes. “Alright, let’s see what you’ve got then, bigshot.”

Boscha’s grin grew to span from ear to ear and she turned to lead them to the stand, facing away to hide the blush that had crept to her face.

While Willow had been right to think they wouldn’t come across another ride that gave them the same joy they’d had with their first, a couple of hours passed in the blink of an eye as they went around the place. 

Taken in comparison to other carnivals that had come to Bonesborough, Boscha could tell that this one wasn’t particularly well put-together, nor did it have many high quality attractions. Somehow, though, she found herself having more fun in it than she’d had in a very long time. It had been nerve-wracking at first, but by now she felt almost perfectly comfortable spending time with Willow. Every new game or ride they tried, every fun new experience and every laugh they shared seemed to fill a void she had never noticed in her heart.

Some of that was obviously due to her romantic feelings. She was spending time with the person she’d fallen for, who she couldn’t stop thinking about, and she couldn’t deny the many times her heart would skip a beat or her face would flush with warmth from one moment to the other. But she noticed something else there, too. Romantic feelings were something she didn’t have a lot of experience with, so a lot of it felt new. But in those moments spent enjoying herself with Willow she also found a certain familiarity.

It reminded her of the times when Skara, Cat, Amelia and her were only just starting to become friends. It had been so long ago she barely remembered it; she was so used to their familiarity with each other that it was hard for her to remember there had been a time before they were even more comfortable with each other than with their families. 

Back then, they were just kids who happened to live close to one another or whose parents knew each other. They didn’t necessarily have a lot of matching interests, and even then Boscha was the type of kid who preferred to be alone, who didn’t know how to deal with other kids. But one way or another, they began to spend more and more time together, and soon enough they realized they could laugh and confide in each other more and more. They learned more about themselves and about each other together, and their bond eventually deepened into something that felt almost unbreakable.

She was starting to realize that ever since then she hadn’t let anyone new into her personal space, into her heart. Her friendship with Amity was a troubled one; despite the time they’d spent together, they had never really clicked the same way she had with her closest three friends. They never knew each other nearly that well. And despite the relationships between the five of them changing a lot, she never seeked another friend group or even a single friend outside of them. Not until now.

Alongside her romantic feelings for Willow, another set of feelings was starting to grow inside of Boscha, very similar to what she felt for Skara, Cat and Amelia, and at the same time entirely unique. She wasn’t sure what to make of it, especially in relation to the crush she still felt very strongly, but she knew it was making her happy, happier than she’d felt in a long time.

It was as she was losing herself in these thoughts, while taking a break on a bench next to Willow, that they once again spotted Luz and Amity walking side by side.

“Willow! Boscha! Having fun? Taking a break? Ooh, Willow, did you see that werewolf ride? We’re going there next!” 

Luz didn’t let go of Amity’s hand while she gestured wildly, and neither Willow nor Boscha managed to contain a chuckle when they saw the spectacle that created.  _ Did they spend two hours glued together like that? _ Boscha thought, somewhat impressed by the idea.

“Yeah! It was the most fun we’ve had so far. The rest of it’s been really neat too, though, right?” Willow said with a glance at Boscha.

“Yeah, it’s been good.” She said with an honest smile that turned into a cocky grin. “I even got to show off some of my cool side to Willow at the spell shooting gallery.”

Willow giggled and covered her mouth with one hand. “The person at the stand accused her of cheating though, so she couldn’t get any prize.”

“Just goes to show I’m too good to be true.”

Amity looked on with one eyebrow raised in surprise at the ease of their conversation as Willow giggled and rolled her eyes at Boscha.

“Good to see you two are having fun together, then.” She said, and Boscha could make out a little incredulity in her voice.

“Yeah, well, couldn’t let you two hog all the fun, now could we?”

Boscha and Amity flashed each other a snarky uneven grin while Willow and Luz continued to talk in a friendly, slightly hushed tone.

“Seems like it’s going well then, Willow?”

“Yeah. I mean, she was the most nervous of the both of us.” She let out a small chuckle. “It’s going alright, so no need to worry, Luz.”

Luz gave her friend a warm and enthusiastic smile. “That’s awesome! You don’t mind if I stay with Amity, then?”

“Of course. Have fun, you two.”

The happy couple waved with a smile as they hurried to the next ride, Luz eagerly pulling Amity along while the latter covered a blushing giggle with her free hand.

When they were gone, however, Boscha noticed Willow had the same subtle dejected look she’d seen a couple of times during their time together. Her shoulders slumped and her head hung down slightly, and her eyes were unfocused, as if she was staring off into the distance, not really seeing anything. 

Boscha wanted to help, to ask her what was wrong, why she kept looking so down today. But she didn’t know if that would be helpful or if Willow would want that from her. She could feel the distance between them had shrunk, but she still couldn’t be sure if Willow considered her a friend, someone she could trust.

“So, where do you wanna go next?” Willow asked, forcing a smile.

The slightly pained expression she couldn’t hide made a switch flip inside of Boscha. Whatever it was, she couldn’t let something go if it was making the girl she loved have such a heartbreaking look.

“Willow… what’s wrong? I don’t mean to pry, and if you just want to keep going around I’m fine with that, but… A few times today, when you think I’m not looking, I’ve seen you get a really sad look in your eyes. Like there’s something in your mind that keeps bothering you. But you keep bottling it up and acting like everything’s okay.

“I know it may not be my place to say this, but it kinda hurts to see you like that. You remind me of myself, how I kept bottling things up instead of talking about them, and well… Yeah. I just want you to know, if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

Willow was clearly taken aback, her eyes wide and her mouth open. Boscha waited for her to say anything, her heart at her throat and her face hotter than should be possible on such a cold day. She could see the gears turning on Willow’s mind, the sentences she almost started before holding herself back again. After what seemed like an eternity, she spoke up.

“I just…” She trailed off, then shook her head. When she continued, she had a very subtle bittersweet smile. “You know, I was the first person they told when they confessed to each other.

“I almost didn’t believe my ears at first. I mean, Amity seemed like she would never confess, no matter how many times I encouraged her to do so. And I didn’t even know Luz had those feelings for Amity yet, she herself said that she only realized it a short time before they confessed.

“I was happy for them, of course. They’re two of my closest friends, and I know they’re gonna be really happy together. And they’re so adorable right now.” Her smile grew and she chuckled lightly. Boscha noticed her eyes were starting to glisten with moisture, though, and the unfallen tears began to multiply as she talked.

“But I also started to feel my chest tighten as I congratulated them. I got an anxiety so sharp and heavy it hurt just to hide it. Here were two friends I care about deeply, being happy together, and the only thoughts that crossed my mind were; what if they only care about each other now? What if they stop spending time with their friends because they’re together? What if… they leave me behind?

“I woke up with a nightmare today. I was… alone. My house was empty, and so was the street outside. I went everywhere trying to ask someone what had happened, where everyone went, but I saw no one. Eventually, I decided to check the Owl House, to see if maybe Luz knew something, and when I got there I finally saw her and Amity, along with Gus and one of his friends from his club, or… the boy he likes, I think. I was so relieved to see them I could almost feel my tears, but when I called out to them they ignored me.” Willow’s voice started to crack.

“It was as if I didn’t exist to them. They were talking and laughing together, holding hands and acting as if nothing was wrong, as if everything was the way it should be. But no matter how much I tried to get their attention, it was as if their eyes couldn’t see me. No matter how much I talked, it was as if their ears didn’t detect my voice. They kept ignoring me, no matter how much I cried, no matter how much I screamed. I just didn’t exist for them.”

Boscha looked on helplessly as tears finally started to roll down Willow’s face, unsure of how to respond.

“It’s absurd, I know. But I was so scared. Even when I woke up, when I realized it was a dream, I was still shaking with fear. Even though they’re my friends, and I love them, and I want them to be happy; the thought that they might leave me like that, so alone and empty, because they move on to have relationships while I don’t, scared me so much I could barely move.”

She started to sob when she finished, and Boscha couldn’t handle seeing her like that anymore. She remembered the way Willow had comforted when she was crying despite how uncomfortable she must have felt at that time, and decided she couldn’t just sit next to her helplessly. She wrapped her arms around her gingerly, providing warmth while using as little force as possible in her hug. Willow responded by wrapping her arms around her back tightly and burying her face on her shoulder, and only then Boscha slowly tightened her embrace, softly placing one hand on the back of Willow’s head in a comforting motion.

“I’m sorry.” Came Willow’s muffled and pained voice in between sobs. “I know it’s silly. I can’t believe I’m crying over this, here.”

“Of course it’s not silly. You’re only crying because you care about your friends so much. They’re clearly more important to you than anything. They’re lucky to have you, and I’m sure they know that.”

“But what if it bothers them that I care so much? What if they don’t feel as strongly about me?”

“Willow, you’ve all done so much for each other before. There’s no way they don’t care about you as much as you do. I’m sure if any of them heard you now, they would be hugging you, telling you that they’d never leave you, and that you’re a wonderful friend for caring so much.”

She believed that to be true, and it let her comfort Willow even better than she ever could herself by using her friends and their emotionally honest attitude.

Willow didn’t respond, and in her anxiety Boscha could feel her own heartbeat so loudly she was worried it would startle the girl in her arms. After a few moments, however, she started to notice Willow’s sobs were slowing down. They held that position until the sobbing had completely stopped, and Willow looked up without letting go.

“I’m sorry you had to see that. I feel like such a mess.”

“You saw me being an even worse mess, so how about we call it even?”

Willow’s subtle giggle combined with her puffy eyes looking up at Boscha made her heartbeat once again get dangerously fast. There was nothing she wanted more in that moment than to cup Willow’s lovely round cheeks with her hands and lean into a kiss. But she remembered what her reaction had been the other time she’d tried that, and she remembered the conversation they’d had earlier in the week. Willow had asked her to do better, and she’d been honest about her uncertainty about romance. And now she was in her arms after having bawled her eyes out. Willow was trusting Boscha, far more than she knew she deserved, and she was not about to betray that trust. She promised herself she would never do that again.

“Thanks for… for being here. You were surprisingly good at this.” She said with another, more noticeable chuckle as she finally let go and leaned back slightly.

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean? I’ll have you know this is nothing. You know how much I’ve had to deal with Amelia crying about Cat and Skara? Those three get into some kind of fight like, every week. Not to mention how much Cat cries to me about the books she likes when she starts rambling about them.”

“I guess that’s just another side of you I hadn’t seen yet. I’m starting to realize there’s a lot of wonderful sides to you like that.” 

Boscha’s heart was about to burst out of her chest after hearing that, but seeing Willow’s eyes take on a sad light again brought her back down to earth. 

“Boscha, I feel like I have to be open about this, but I’m starting to think more and more that I really can’t return your feelings.” She started fiddling with the edge of her sleeves. “I’m having a really great time today, and I think there have been a lot of moments that I’d recognize from romance stories as romantic. But even though I’ve been on the lookout for them, I don’t think any of my feelings have been different from how I feel around my friends. I’m sorry. I know it isn’t what you want, but… I think we can only be friends.”

As Willow bit her lip, silently awaiting her response, Boscha’s mind cycled through countless conflicting emotions and thoughts. The bitterness of the implicit rejection of Willow’s words, the romantic affection for her that hadn’t waned since it began months ago, and the new feelings that had began to blossom today were all swirling in her heart and making her unsure of what she even truly felt at that moment. Regardless of her uncertainty, though, she knew she didn’t want to make Willow wait more than was necessary. She started talking, even if she didn’t know exactly where she was going.

“You know, before I fell for you, I think I was pretty obsessed with winning. The only decoration in my room was all of my trophies. It was as if that was all I was allowed to care about. It didn’t matter if people feared me, or even if they hated me. As long as I won, as long as I kept being successful, as long as I didn’t have any loss in my record.

“Getting to know you started to change that, though. It’s been slow, I know, but lately I’m starting to realize there’s… so much more than that. I threw away my trophies, and I started to try and accept losing, and not being the center of attention. And it’s been freeing. 

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that, yeah, it hurts to know that I don’t have a chance for the person I love to feel the same way about me. But I’ve grown because of you, and I can live with that pain now. I can even be happy with it, given time.”

She gave Willow the fondest smile her lips could form. “And I meant everything I said about you, Willow. You’re a wonderful person, and the love and care you have for your friends is so bright it outshines the sun. If you’re saying I can be a part of that, that I could deserve such warmth from you, then that is the biggest honor I could ever ask for.”

The look on Willow’s eyes was so radiant Boscha almost had to squint to be able to look at her. The pained smile she’d kept for most of their conversation turned into a truly happy, relieved expression and she stood up, holding her hand out to a confused Boscha for a handshake.

“So… does that mean we’re friends?”

Boscha couldn’t contain a chuckle that almost turned into a full fit of giggling. She held one hand against her stomach to hold back the laughter while she extended the other to meet Willow’s hand, gripping it eagerly.

“Yeah. I’d love that.”

“Thank you.” They said simultaneously, causing each other to erupt into laughter after a brief moment of surprise. 

After they’d calmed down a little, Willow used the hand she was holding to pull Boscha up out of her seat, and she easily interlaced their fingers before flashing a grin.

“Wanna go see the rest of the carnival, then?”

“Heck yeah… ah.”

Boscha let out a small noise in surprise when she noticed the scene that was developing around her. Small, almost unnoticeable specks of white were slowly drifting downwards from the sky, being carelessly swept around by the wind. The first snowflakes of that winter had begun to fall while they were talking, unnoticed by the girls who had been absorbed in their candid conversation.

“It’s beautiful.” She let out unconsciously.

Willow responded with a quiet chuckle. “I didn’t know you were a winter person.”

“Yeah. Ever since I was a kid, these moments of gentle snowfall always made me feel safe. It feels… comfortable, I guess.”

“Huh.”

“Err, I take it you don’t like winter that much?”

“Not really.” She paused for a second, looking up at the falling snow. Then she slowly brought her gaze back down to Boscha’s eyes and smiled from ear to ear. “I think I might be starting to see the appeal, though. Just a little bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being so loooooong jfdlfjslfjdsljl turns out there was a lot I wanted to do from Boscha's perspective though.  
> In any case, I also now finally have an idea of how long this is gonna be (1 chapter before the end lmao) but this is so long I don't want to edit it anymore so I'm publishing it before having *any* of the epilogue/last chapter written, so I have no idea when that will go up. Sorry!   
> Also I really hope y'all are enjoying this! Feel a little proud of this chapter and would love any comments y'all may have. Also I appreciate anyone getting this far into this fic exclusively about side characters becoming friends and not lovers fdjgldfjgd I recognize it's a bit niche lmao.  
> I hope I was able to get across what these characters are going through in a way that's resonant at all. I started this partly because of having a lot of unformed thoughts about Boschlow that I needed to get out somehow and also wanting to explore aromanticism and platonic relationships, and my feelings on these two's relationship has kinda evolved a lot in the process of actually starting to deeply care about them. And there's still more to go, of course!  
> I am rambling so I'll stop jlfjgldfgld thanks for reading so much, I appreciate it immensely and as always I love to hear from y'all! Peace!


	6. The Love They Share.

Willow woke up with a familiar warmth at her back that gave her a feeling of safety and comfort. She checked the time and made the difficult decision to leave her warm bed for the harsh reality of the cold that had already made its way into her room. She easily shook off the arms that were holding her in place and made her way towards the window, opening the curtains and letting the light filter into the room.

A hoarse groaning voice complained from the bed while she combed her hair. “Willow… it’s too early for this, come back…”

“It’s already eleven Boscha, come on.” She rolled her eyes at her friend. 

“On a saturday! What’s the point of weekends if you can’t sleep until noon?” Willow heard a yawn along with the rustling sound of the bedsheets. “Oh, whoa. It’s snowing.”

She looked up out the window and noticed her friend was right. The town outside had been covered by a light layer of snow while they slept, and the snow’s pale color mixed with the overcast sky to accentuate the warm colors of the buildings, making the town look like a watercolor painting.

“Has it been a year already? I guess time flies when you’re having fun.”

Willow gave a light chuckle. “Since when are you this chatty in the mornings?”

“I guess your morning person ways have started rubbing off on me. Or maybe I’m just getting used to you waking me up illegally early every day.”

“Oh, please. That’s just called waking up at normal person hours.”

For a couple of months now, Boscha had started to stay over at Willow’s house often, and they never failed to friendly bicker over minor things like this. One thing that Willow would never do, though, is complain about Boscha being there at all. Even jokingly, she didn’t want to imply she’d prefer her friend to stop spending nights with her. 

Part of that was because she didn’t, of course. Over the year they’d been friends, the two of them had rapidly become closer than anyone would have expected, and they enjoyed each other’s company immensely. Another part of it, though, was that she knew very well the reason why Boscha felt so inclined to spend time at Willow’s house instead of her own, and she would never invalidate that reason.

“Uh, is everything okay, Boscha?” She asked when she realized her friend had been unusually quiet in response to her earlier comment. She walked towards where she was still sitting in bed, clutching her phone, and sat down next to her. Seeing her scared expression gave Willow pause.

“It’s… my parents.” She shook her head as if to shake off her anxiety and looked at Willow with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing big or anything, they just say they want to talk today. I’m sure it’s nothing.” It sounded as if she was trying to convince herself, but her voice clearly lacked conviction.

Willow wrapped an arm around her and held her close. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“I do. But that would only make them act worse, I’m sure. And didn’t you say you had plans today? Don’t worry. I’ll be alright. They’re my family, I can handle them.” She tried to grin, but her usual smug attitude was nowhere to be seen.

Willow pulled her into a hug, her chest tightening at the sight of Boscha’s obvious unease. 

“Alright. Promise you’ll let me know if anything happens, though. I’ll be there in a second.” She ruffled Boscha’s hair, eliciting a giggle from her.

“Stop!” She said with barely any force behind it. “I’ll let you know. Promise. I can’t avoid them forever, though.”

“I know. But you don’t owe them anything just because they’re your parents. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.” She looked up at Willow with a shaky smile. “You’ve told me a hundred times already.”

Willow chuckled lightly. “And I’ll keep saying it as many times as it takes.”

They stayed close together in silence for a minute, Willow absentmindedly passing her fingers through Boscha’s hair. 

“I think…” Boscha started. “I might as well just come out to them, I think. Not because they deserve it or anything, but just… I think it might help me. If they know everything, there’s less reason to be scared, you know?”

There was a shakiness in her voice that Willow could also feel through her body. She tightened her embrace instinctively and talked in a soothing tone. “Are you sure? I’m not gonna stop you if you think that’s for the best, but…”

“I’m just tired of all the running and hiding. I need them to know already so I can breathe.”

“Alright. You know we’re all gonna be there for you no matter how it goes.”

“Yeah. Thank you. I’m gonna go see the Banshees before I talk to them.” A smile crept to her face when mentioning her friends. “I think it’ll help me steel my nerves.”

Willow nodded and smiled at her with delight. Knowing that Boscha had come to rely on all her friends more easily without needing to be pushed into doing so filled her heart with warmth. When she’d had a really worrying fight with her parents two months ago, it had been Willow who suggested she could stay in her house if she needed to be away. Now, she was certain Boscha would ask for help of her own accord if her parents continued to prove unworthy of her presence in their lives. And she was ready to give all the help she could.

“Heh. The flowers on the windowsill bloomed again. Adorable.” Boscha commented while she got up and went towards the dresser.

Willow couldn’t contain a giggle, and sure enough a glance at the window let her know one of the empty flower pots had sprouted a beautiful golden flower, its radiant color striking amidst the white-covered streets outside. She had been working hard to contain the subconscious sprouts that seemed to happen when she let her emotions loose, but it would still happen occasionally when she was tired or had just woken up, and the radius at which it could happen had increased as her magical abilities became stronger.

“I guess I wear my heart on my sleeve.”

“That’s one of your best qualities.” Boscha said, then began to giggle. Her laughter was cut off by a startled squeak and a bumping noise as she fell, her long spindly legs tangled in a mess of clothes left on the floor. She picked up the school uniform she’d thrown around with no regard after school yesterday and glared daggers at it before throwing it on the bed.

“Hey, how about learning from your mistakes and actually putting your clothes away properly instead?” Willow said with fake indignation as she carefully folded the uniform. A conflicted smile made its way to her face thinking about the meaning of its dual yellow and violet colors; the change to a dual track that included oracle magic that had brought so much joy to Boscha and had also been the impetus for her fight with her parents.

“Anyway, what plans did you have today?” Boscha asked while she changed.

“Gus is putting on a show with his club. They’re gonna screen some human movies they got with Luz’s help. It should be fun! He said they’re making this show a little private as a test, and if everything goes well they’re gonna make a public showing next week. You should come watch then!”

“Get them to show a horror movie and I’ll be there for sure.” Boscha said, looking back over her shoulder with a smirk.

Willow hid her mouth with one hand while she chuckled. “Did you forget what happened last time Gus tried to join in when we were watching horror with Luz? I think he’s never gonna get over that.”

Boscha’s laugh was guttural and loud. “Ha ha ha ha! Of course I didn’t forget, that scream is burned into my memory. Haunting stuff.”

“That’s why he  _ still _ thinks you’re scary, you know. You should try being a little nicer to him.”

“He’s so fun to mess with though! His reactions are as fun as yours used to be before you got so used to me.”

“Boscha.”

Willow’s death glare froze Boscha in place, but her grin remained intact as warmth rushed to her face. 

“Okay, okay, I got it. Next week I’ll go to his dork show and tell him he did a good job. Sounds good?” She looked anywhere but into Willow’s eyes.

“ _ That’s _ more like it.” The pride in her voice was glaring.

Boscha narrowed her eyes. “Since when are you so smug, anyway?”

“I guess your smugness started to rub off on me. You’ve only got yourself to blame.”

“As always, the heroine’s own greatness is her undoing.”

Boscha finished tying her hair in a bun and took her leather jacket in one hand, then spun towards the door and shot Willow a subtly shaking smile.

“Alright, I’m going. Have fun with Gus.”

Willow couldn’t hide the worry in her voice. “Oh. Good luck. Let me know if anything happens, okay? You know I’ll be there in no time.”

“I already promised you I would, don’t worry, girl. I got this.” There was a firm determination in her eyes, and she quickly opened the door and left.

Willow was left alone in her room, and even while she heard Boscha greet her parents she could already feel her bedroom losing some of its color. Even before she’d started spending nights there, Boscha’s presence had started to transform Willow’s life such that even her bedroom felt like it took on a different style, one that suited them both instead of just Willow.

Over the past year, Willow’s understanding of her feelings had naturally deepened, and after trying out the word Aromantic for a while she found that she was now comfortable with what it meant for her. So she knew that her feelings for Boscha weren’t romantic, but rather the same class of feeling she had for the rest of her friends. But that didn’t mean she didn’t think of those feelings as special.

All friendships are different, of course, and her feelings for her close friends were always unique and intense. Despite being one of her newest friends, the last year of memories with Boscha had made its special place in Willow’s heart, and she felt as if their bond could be something wonderful and lifelong.

She thought of Boscha as someone with whom she could share her life, no matter how much the both of them grew and changed. There was something uncertain and spontaneous about these thoughts, but she couldn’t dismiss them either. She wanted nothing more than to keep spending their life being as close together as they were in those moments. 

Because of this, the uncertainty of Boscha’s family situation weighed heavily on Willow’s mind. She wanted to be there for her friend through all of this, and more than anything, she wished there was nothing to worry about; she wished Boscha could be as happy as she was with her family. But she knew there was nothing she could do to change the situation, so she only worried, powerlessness fueling her frustration.

Her phone vibrated with a text from Gus, and she shook off her worries and musings about Boscha. There was nothing she could do now other than wait for her friend to confront her parents on her own, no matter how frustrating and nerve-wracking that was. She threw on her warmest coat over her shoulders and left her room.

…

Boscha ran.

She ran, freezing winds stinging her tearful eyes. Her arms fought against the instinct to clutch her chest where a sharp pain had made itself at home, knowing this wasn’t a physical pain. Still, it hurt, so much so she couldn’t focus on anything else, even when she’d ran so much her legs were heavy and exhausted.

She didn’t know exactly where she was running to. All her mind could see was what she was running from. Fear and anxieties, pain and disappointment, anger and sorrow all stirred together in her heart, leaving her a confused and emotional mess, unable to make heads or tails of her situation. So she ran.

Her continuous dash didn’t slow until her vision cleared just enough for her to take in a familiar sight. Then, all at once, the fog in her mind cleared for a second and she almost tumbled down head-first into the ground when she suddenly came to a halt, her momentum changing so suddenly her legs almost gave out. 

She was staring at a lonesome and deteriorated pair of swings, and she realized her feet had unconsciously brought her to the small abandoned park where she had confessed her feelings to Willow a year prior. A lot had changed since then, but she still felt safe there. It was a spot she came to often when she needed a break from people, when she felt exhausted and suffocated by life and needed to breathe and think by herself.

She sat down on one of the swings, brushing off the snow that had made its way there, paying no mind to the sorry state of the seat. She breathed heavily, and as the adrenaline that had powered her dash died down, her body began to feel its own exhaustion along with the chill of the winter air around her. 

The familiar scenery helped her thoughts to slow down, and she was now able to think more clearly about her encounter with her parents. 

It was anything but pleasant thoughts, of course. She felt echoes of her mother’s shrieking voice, calling her a failure, confirming her own suspicions of the resentment her parents felt at the perceived weakness of their only heir. She saw the stoic denial by her father of her own identity, his invalidation of the self-proclaimed queerness of his daughter through disbelief and disregard.

She had expected nothing more, of course. Her parents had always been clear about their intentions for her, along with their lack of care for her own desires. If she couldn’t be the perfect heir for their business, and if she couldn’t be an obedient pawn for their cold plans, she was nothing for them.

But if she knew this so well, why did it still hurt? Why had their words wounded her so much? She had barely seen them in two months, and she went into their meeting today ready to cut all ties with them, regardless of how hard that might be. So why did it seem as if they still had so much power over her?

She didn’t realize her hands had balled into fists until a ringing noise snapped her out of her daze. She was receiving a call. She knew it couldn’t be her parents, and most of her friends would never call instead of texting, leaving only one option. Her lips twitched slightly, almost forming a smile, grateful for the opportunity to stop her train of thought.

She relaxed her muscles and absentmindedly picked up the call without looking, certain of whose voice she’d hear.

“Willow?”

“Boscha, hey, sorry, I just received your message- Are you alright? Where are you?”

She had forgotten she’d sent Willow a text. When had that been? Was it before or after she started running away?

“Oh- yeah, I’m okay. Don’t worry about me. How’d the show go?” Her voice was hoarse, and she felt pathetic.

“There were some technical difficulties, but Gus is a true showman. He took it as an opportunity to take the stage and use his illusions to act out a scene while the rest of the club fixed the projector.” She let out a chuckle. Willow’s voice felt like a warm blanket enveloping all of Boscha’s senses; she closed her eyes and basked in the feeling, certain she could drift to sleep in that position. 

“Yeah, that sounds like him. Were the movies good?”

“Well, one of them was. The other one was a super serious drama with terrible acting, but it was actually so bad it was hilarious! We were laughing the entire time, staff included.” 

“Sounds like it went perfectly. Can’t wait to go to the first public showing next week.”

“Yeah. So… are you really okay? How did it go?”

Hearing her worry made Boscha’s heart sink. “As well as you’d expect, really. I’m fine, though. I mean, it wasn’t like I was hoping for a good reaction or anything, so…” 

“...Boscha, where are you now? I can go see you. Are you with anyone?”

_ Clearly I didn’t sound convincing at all. _

“It’s okay, Willow, really. You don’t have to. I’ll be…” She trailed off again, her thoughts jumbled and messy. 

She had always been good at lying to herself. Convincing herself that she needed to be alone despite knowing deep down that it was a lie had become second nature to her. But something new inside her had grown, emboldened by Willow’s voice, and it was now shouting louder than her previously dominant solitary instincts.

After all, one could only be friends with someone as emotionally open as Willow for so long without learning a few lessons about relying on others.

Boscha let out a deep sigh, then a subtle smile rose to her lips. “I’m at my usual spot. If it’s not too much to ask-”

“I’ll be there in a minute.” Willow’s response, along with the end of the call, cut Boscha off so suddenly she couldn’t stop the shocked laughter that took over her. 

She was left sitting on the swing, alone with her thoughts once again. But this time, she found those thoughts drifting in a much sweeter direction. Even when her laughter faded, she managed to hold onto a small smile as the image of Willow floated through her mind; the girl who’d shown her so many wonderful new facets of herself and had become a beacon of light as her closest friend, even while she still held a different kind of love for her.

…

Willow had to catch her breath when she reached the park. She wiped cold sweat from her forehead as she sat down on the swing next to Boscha’s and smiled at her, doing her utmost effort to bring her focus away from the uncomfortable heat of winter exertion.

“You look like you ran a marathon.” Boscha said with a teasing smirk.

“You don’t look much better yourself.” 

There was a brief pause, after which they both burst out laughing, shedding some of their anxiety and exhaustion in the process. To Willow, who had just spent the past ten minutes running as fast as she could, Boscha’s snarky voice with its usual confidence intact was exactly the breath of fresh air she needed.

“Thanks for coming here.” Boscha said after their laughter died down, letting out a tired but relaxed sigh.

“I’m glad you asked me to.”

They stayed silent for a minute, Willow catching her breath and waiting for Boscha to talk about her day. She knew not to push, but also knew her friend must have a lot weighing on her mind that she hasn’t let out.

“I, uh… I already said this, but our talk went about as well as I could have expected.” She started, staring off into the distance, her voice slightly bitter and clearly tired. “They asked me about why I hadn’t spent time at their house, which apparently took them three weeks to really notice, and where I’d been spending time instead. Placing emphasis on how ‘inappropriate’ it is for a young lady, of course.

“I didn’t even bother telling them I’d been avoiding them because of how angry and powerless they made me feel. I just told them I’d been staying with friends, and they asked some pretty irritating questions about that.” She wrinkled her nose and her lips curled into a snarl. 

“So I got impatient and just told them about you. I didn’t say your name, so they wouldn’t do anything weird, but I told them I was staying with a girl I’d become friends with. And that I liked her.” Her features softened. “That I liked girls.”

Willow could notice a subtle shakiness through her friend’s body that she recognized as a sign Boscha was hiding her fear. Her heart sank seeing Boscha so devastated and hearing her words.

“My heart was beating so loudly it felt like my eardrums were gonna burst when I told them. It felt like the moments before they reacted lasted forever, and the silence was crushing me while it went on. Then my mom started screaming at me, and it stopped. It kinda felt like the last piece of the puzzle was finally in place, and all my anxiety turned into anger.

“I had to listen to her tell me how much of a disappointment I was. Because I couldn’t- Because I  _ wouldn’t _ just live my life exactly how they wanted. Because I couldn’t be ‘normal’. She just listed off all the ways I wasn’t the perfect little pawn they wanted, and I realized just how pointless it had been for me to ever try to meet their expectations.

“My dad didn’t even take me seriously. He just said I was either lying to them or fooling myself. He said that it was some kind of rebellious phase, and soon enough I’d go back to them, begging for their forgiveness. He didn’t even look at me, at the person that had just revealed herself to them. He looked past everything I’d just said, and simply asked when I would be back.”

Boscha’s eyes were watering now, and she was forming fists with so much force that her knuckles were completely pale. Willow couldn’t take it anymore, and she got up to stand in front of her, moving close and putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. 

“The worst part is, I thought it would be freeing. I would get it all out of my system, and they’d respond, and I could finally just have all the proof I needed that they never loved me. Then I could be free. But instead, even though I was ready for it, the pain I felt overpowered everything else.

“I never expected anything from them. I knew they could never just suddenly become good parents. So I don’t get how it can feel so painfully  _ disappointing.  _ I thought, if I had no expectations, no hopes, that they couldn’t do any worse than my own image of them. But they  _ did _ .” Boscha’s voice cracked, and when she continued speaking it was through sobs, with tears making their way down her face tinted red with pained anger.

“They showed me that, against all logic, I still had hopes for them somewhere deep inside me. By taking those hopes and crushing them without a care in the world.”

She buried her face in her hands then, anger and despair mixing together into plentiful tears that streamed from her eyes. Willow wrapped both arms around her and brought her into a hug, a reflection of the day they’d first come to this park together a year before. She’d felt pity for Boscha then, and it had quelled her anger. Since then, her feelings for her had grown immensely. The sympathy she felt now brought a sharp pain to her chest, and a fury towards the undeserving parents that had caused her dear friend such grief welled up inside her, its strength tenfold that of the anger she’d previously felt towards Boscha.

She continued to hold Boscha for as long as it took for her tears to slow down, rubbing comforting circles on her back. A soft warmth enveloped her heart when she remembered how Boscha had comforted her in the same way a year ago when she was scared for her friendships, along with the many times they’d done this for each other in the year they’d spent as close friends. 

When Boscha pulled back slightly, she still had tears around her eyes that she was wiping away, and her breathing was uneven. 

“Thank you, Willow. For listening to all that. I’ll be fine, I think. After this, I... I hope I can start finding that freedom I was looking for.” Her words were interspersed with sniffles and deep breaths. “I’m sorry, I feel like I’m relying too much on you and your parents, and I don’t want to-”

Before she kept hearing words that broke her heart, Willow placed her hands on the sides of Boscha’s face and pressed lightly, looking into her eyes with a reassuring smile.

“Boscha, it’s alright. You don’t have to say anything else. I understand. And I disagree.” Her smile grew when her friend let out a light chuckle. She closed her eyes and slowly tilted her head forwards until their foreheads were touching, still holding Boscha’s face softly; she felt the small weight of her hands resting on her shoulders.

“I want you to rely on me- on us, I mean. It makes me  _ so _ happy to know I can do something for you, silly. I’m not gonna let you refuse our help.” She felt a slight tickle from the air Boscha exhaled when she giggled at this. “You’re a very important friend for me now, Boscha.”

“I’m so- I mean, thank you. Thank you.” Boscha sniffled, holding back another burst of tears. “I’m just scared, you know? Really, really scared. Having to confront my parents being… like this, while I’m supposed to be relying on them for everything. And having to rely on people, I mean, it’s so hard for me already,  _ needing _ to do it with people that don’t even have that responsibility… It’s all just frightening. It feels like my life is off all the rails it was supposed to be on since I was born.”

“I know. And you’re only able to go against all of these tracks you were supposed to follow because you’re brave. Because you’re pushing yourself, even when you’re so scared. That’s amazing, Boscha, and you deserve people alongside you who will support you through it all.” Willow moved her head slightly, eyes still closed, until their noses were touching affectionately.

“And I want to be one of those people. No matter how uncertain the future is, I want to be there next to you, and I would like for you to be one of the people next to me too. To support you through everything, knowing you’ll keep doing the same for me. That’s the best I can give you.”

“That’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.” The warmth in Boscha’s voice sent a wave of joy through Willow that was unmatched. “I want that too. Actually, I’m a little surprised at how relieved hearing that made me feel.” She said with a chuckle. “I have no idea what to expect from the future, and it’s terrifying, but I know I want to spend it with you by my side. And knowing you want that too makes me feel like it’s gonna be alright.

“I love you, Willow.”

“I love you too, Boscha.”

Their heartbeat didn’t rise when they said those words, nor did they feel any kind of anxiety. Instead, they fully sank into the comfort of their familiarity with each other, smiling at their mutual understanding of the love they shared. After a couple of minutes of comfortable silence, Boscha started to feel the cold and shivered slightly, opening her eyes for the first time in minutes and looking around them.

“Whoa. Willow. You really outdid yourself this time.”

Willow opened her eyes as well and gasped when she noticed the scenery around them. The park, which only minutes ago had been as barren as it had ever been, was now filled with color from corner to corner. There was not a single empty spot on the ground; instead, it had become a field of flowers, each different from its neighbor but just as beautiful. They swayed gently in unison with the wind like a painting given life, the vibrant colors slowly rocking back and forth and contrasting with the ashen snow that lightly fell on them.

“I did that?” She didn’t know whether to feel embarrassed or proud. Her emotions had clearly overflowed again, but the result was not only beautiful, but impressively so. She had covered the entire park while she was talking normally without giving any focus to her magic. And it was a hypnotizingly pretty pattern, too.

Boscha began to laugh, tears falling from her eyes again for a completely different reason than before. “That’s amazing! How do you even do that?”

Willow blushed and chuckled. “I have no idea. It just kinda… happened. I’m as surprised as you.”

Boscha gazed at the landscape with a smile, marveling at the burst of color her friend had created from nothing. After a few seconds, she turned the same fond gaze towards Willow and spoke up.

“Well, it’s beautiful. I think we already gave this old place plenty of our time, though. Wanna go back… home?”

“Yeah. I’d love to.”

Willow held out her hand, and Boscha grasped it with no hesitation. 

Together, hand in hand, they walked forwards. There was a firm certainty in their hearts now that they hadn’t felt in a very long time. A certainty that, no matter what the future may hold for them, they’d continue to face it together; their bond as resilient and beautiful as the flowers which bloomed in the barren winter around them against all odds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is done! Hooray!  
> I really hope y'all enjoyed it all the way through, this has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster to write but I'm very glad I did! This chapter def started to feel a lot like I was kinda going in a bit of a self-indulgent direction and it took a lot to tell myself it was ok >.<   
> I hope this resonates with people as much as it did with me while writing it, and that y'all feel like it's a good ending! Let me know, and thanks so much for reading!!


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